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“Set it up,” Menace said. “Let’s see if this app is worth the chance.”
Saber went to work while we waited. While he was setting up Menace’s, I scrolled around, liking this app already. “There are harems and all kinds of relationships. There’s a whole section for women who want to enter into a contract to have children. They don’t expect…it looks like they aren’t expecting romance or any of that.”
“Hurry up, Saber.” Menace was getting impatient, while I was now deep into the possibilities.
Saber might’ve hit the jackpot.
Chapter Seven
Ilya
Cindy went to bed early with her phone in hand to FaceTime with her “mates,” but I was too keyed up to get to sleep anytime soon. Also, intrigued. I’d been so obsessed with grief at the losses and anger and helplessness and things I could not change. It had been a while since I’d lifted my head to take an interest in anything at all positive.
If I kept on the way I was going, I’d end up bitter and horrible for anyone to be around. While I’d been doing all that, Cindy had met what appeared to be the loves of her life. Loves plural, as in more than one. She’d always been more open to new ideas than me, trying new jobs just for the experience, traveling whenever she could, while I’d been on a track from birth practically to the life I expected to live. Already it was starting to look like a rut I’d never have gotten out of. But it was my rut, and I’d been happy in it. Mostly. If I’d ever wanted to make a change, it should have been my decision, right? Not my brother’s. What was he doing now? On a plane to wherever it was five o’clock all the time?
Please let karma be real because he’d caused so much pain to so many people…
Assisted by my father. I had some forgiving to do there, too. But not today. I wasn’t that good a person.
Anyway, the life I’d planned was no longer gonna happen. At all.
With my total assets locked up in a smallish storage unit and in the two duffel bags I’d brought with me, no job, no home, and only two weeks in my temporary haven, I had to do something radical. Maybe take a page from Cindy’s book and put myself outthere. Live the dream. Dammit, I had been living the dream. A simple, small dream. Was that too much to ask?
Or maybe a small dream was a mistake? Maybe I could ask for something bigger?
Fantasies of a relationship like Cindy’s were just that. Not something likely to happen just because I decided to make a change—or because change was forced on me. Still, I needed some form of distraction if my head wasn’t going to explode, so I made a cup of peppermint tea and curled up on the couch with my phone.Mail-Order Matings, take me away from all this.
I’d never signed up for a dating app before. Actually I hadn’t done a lot of dating at all, especially after one boy in high school broke my heart. I was starting to realize just how dull I’d been. All work and no play. Lucky I had a brother willing to shoulder theall play and no workburden.
But I couldn’t think of Andy anymore because I was getting angry again.
I downloaded the app and clicked on thefree accountbutton and settled in to look at profiles. Unfortunately, that was not step one. First, I had to set up my own profile and find a picture in my gallery that made me look remotely attractive or at least not tired. Did I always have those bags under my eyes?
But when I got it up, somehow the image was softened and I looked a lot closer to my actual age and less about to keel over from exhaustion. Then I had to answer many questions about what I was looking for, what I liked, didn’t like, was I into BDSM or surfing or polyamory or reverse harems… That sounded a little like Cindy’s situation, and while I said no to most things, many because the terms weren’t familiar to me, I clicked yes on that one. If a few handsome hunks were so into me they were willing to share…who was I to argue?
Like that would happen.
I wasn’t going to raise my expectations too high. I didn’t expect instant love. With my history, maybe I wasn’t one of the people who men fell in love with. Maybe there was someone who would like companionship? I’d always be willing to work and pull my weight and be a good friend. And if it was a friends with benefits, so be it. Heck I’d even like to be a co-parent, which some of the questions seemed to indicate might be possible.
A couple of hours later, I’d made it through all the questions—with a lot of soul-searching—and was able to peruse the other profiles. They were varied for sure, and most of them were great-looking, which made me wonder if their pictures looked better, too. A suggested match came up then a few more. And I looked them over dutifully, seeing some interesting things in each. But could I imagine leaving here and setting out for somewhere far away, throwing my lot in with them? They all seemed to have real expectations of romance, and I didn’t see that as my forte.
While my girlfriends, including Cindy, fell in and out of love, I just never felt the spark. Even the one boy I’d dated for a whole semester hadn’t been a true romance. Then, one profile caught my eye. Yes, they were looking for a mating, but they mostly wanted a mother for their future children. They offered a home, safety, protection, and no more. No expectation of romance. They wanted a family.
Security. And children. I’d thought I had one and given up on having the other.
It seemed too good to be true. The answer to prayers I hadn’t even had the presence of mind to pray.
But what if I fell in love with them? Would it be a deal-breaker? They weren’t the best-looking of all the profiles I’d seen, not heartbreakers. It wouldn’t be too hard not to fall in love with them.
Chapter Eight
Menace
I had to put this damned phone down. Ever since Saber downloaded the app, I’d been scouring the profiles. There was an entire mass of women who had somewhere marked that they were interested in being a breeder—a mate without the love part.
“I’m going out,” I said after dinner that night. Even though Draven had kicked up a diabolical fit about the state of the recipe, the beef Wellington had turned out perfect. He’d served it, along with garlic mashed potatoes and steamed green beans, and my stomach had never been more satisfied.
At least that part of me was satisfied. The other parts were far from it. My muscles and skin burned with need to be used, to be stretched and exercised. That was one thing I missed about our old rage. There was training, day in and day out, that kept my body exhausted which, in turn, helped my mind be more at ease. Since I was a toddler, I was raised and trained to be a warrior, a fighter, a first line of defense for our people, mostly our women and children. But now that we had moved away from those things, I was only protecting the three of us and, honestly, my friends could take care of themselves. Orcs matured fairly quickly and, even as toddlers, our muscular builds and brawny statures could be seen.
