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He shakes his head and smiles at me with a look on his face I can’t quite read. Before anything can be said, Raven comes back with my food. All anxious thoughts and any care about what these people think of goes right out the window when she sets my food down in front of me. My stomach rumbles and I dive right in. Raven winks at me and then says she’ll be back with the guys’ food.
When I look around, everyone is looking at me with their mouths open except for Stone. He is staring at Raven, walking away. Still stone-faced, but his eyes follow her everywhere. Interesting.
Blade clears his throat, “You… are you going to eat all of that?”
I snap my head in his direction.
“Don’t you know better than to ask a woman that question?” I raise a brow at him.
He blanches. “Well, I, shit. Woman, I don’t know. I didn’t mean anything by it.” I see Ryker smiling from ear to ear and raise my brows, which causes Blade to look at him. “What the hell are you smiling at?” Blade asks.
“You being a dumbass. Jeez Noah, you’d think you’d never been around a woman before.”
Wait. “Who’s Noah?”
“That’s my legal name. But only these three fools call me it.” Blade points to the teens.
I nod. “So, are you guys all brothers?” I say as I pick up my burger and take a bite of it.
I guess I could see why they look at me weird. I get their biggest burger with two patties and all the fixings you could think of, along with a double order of fries. And I eat every single bite of it. I definitely don’t usually eat this much, but I can blame the baby, right?
“Cayden is my blood brother, but we’re all brothers in the club. I have custody of these three, though.” He points to Cayden, Grayson, and Ryker. Wow, he looks so young to have custody of three teens.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-one. It’s all a long story you don’t want to hear.”
I nod again, getting the point. Mind my own business. I keep eating as Blade and the teens carry on a conversation. I look to my left and see Stone still watching Raven.Hmm, maybe her luck with dating will change soon.
And Axe, well, he has his eyes glued to me. I try really hard not to blush, but I can feel it coming, anyway. His eyes bore into mine as I look back at him. I get lost in those baby-blue eyes and it feels like the entire world melts away and it’s only us two. Nothing else exists right now but us.
The feeling to lean in and just be close or touching him in some way is so strong, I blink and look back at my food. My stomach turns sour. I shouldn’t be thinking or even looking at someone like that. He doesn’t even know my secret, and no man wants to take on some soon-to-be divorced woman with a crazy ex and a baby on the way. Adding in that I have no idea how Ben would react to me having feelings for someone else, and I am not sure if I want to find out how he would feel about it.
As much as I want to be tell myself that Ben is all talk, he isn’t. He laid hands on me the day I walked in on him with that other woman. Am I really crazy enough to think he wouldn’t do it again? I honestly have no idea anymore.
I feel a brush against my hands and look down to see that I have been pinching my palm again. It’s a bad, anxious habit I can’t seem to break. Axe stops it and intertwines our fingers under the table. I look back up at him, and he gives me a genuine smile. “Eat,” he says.
I start eating again right as Raven comes back with the guys’ food. Axe tells her to take a break and join us, so she does, pulling a chair up to the end of the table. Stone doesn’t touch his food. He keeps his eyes glued on Raven.
The rest of the hour goes by fast. Everyone laughs and enjoys each other’s company. It makes me feel lighter than I have in a while. Raven always takes away the darkness when I am around her, but right now I feel comfortable, and that hasn’t happened in a long time. Axe holds my hand the entire time, which makes eating more difficult, but I wouldn’t let go for anything. Even when my hand gets sweaty. I can’t find it in me to care.
The rest of the weekend flies by after that. I go get some new clothes to wear to the shop since most of mine are business attire and they seem more casual there. Monday morning is here already, and my nerves are hitting hard. I focus on my breathing, so I don’t overwhelm myself. I have had some intense attacks before, and I really don’t want to have one alone or while pregnant. I’ve definitely had a few smaller ones, but mostly, I’ve kept the bigger ones at bay. I never know what will trigger them unfortunately. They usually hit at the most random times, and I have never been able to determine what exactly brings them on.
I have on some ripped black jeggings that might do for today. I don’t have on a shirt because I can’t decide which one to wear. I turn and look around my room, finding I’ve made an enormous mess. My bed and floor are scattered with clothes.
I groan and flop down on my bed. I am making this harder than it needs to be. My phone vibrates next to me, and I answer it, seeing it’s Raven.
“Hey, mama! Ready for your first day?”
“No! This feels like the first day of school, and I can’t decide what to wear. My nerves are shot, and I am on the verge of tears.”
“Alright, deep breath. I’d come over if I knew we had the time, but we don’t, so FaceTime it is. Switch it over.”
I groan, “Raven, I’m trying to get dressed. I don’t even have a shirt on.”
“Pres, get over it. Let me help. I don’t know if you realize this or not, but we both have boobs. So I’ve seen some before and I already know I’m not attracted to them, so I will not be drooling over them,” she states seriously. I don’t even know how to respond to that, so I just switch the call to FaceTime.
“Yay!” Her eyes get huge. “Holy shit, are your boobs getting bigger?”
