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I press my trembling palms to my thighs, trying to get them to stop as I take a shaky breath. “You never wanted to hit me? But you did. I didn’t force your hand. You made the choice,” I murmur, staring at the man I feel like I know nothing about now.
He stands and stalks towards me. I can’t help but flinch slightly. His eyes soften, and he drops to his knees in front of me. “Doll, listen to me. I never wanted to do that. Never. You’ve never even given me a reason to. You have always been so perfect. I won’t ever do it again, because you won’t need me to.” He gives me a tender smile. “You are perfect, Presley Ann.”
“I want to go home,” I whisper, trying to hold back tears.
Ben nods. “I think that is a great idea. I will be home in about a week. Everything will be okay by the time I get there. The business deal I am here for is going very well.” He grins.
I nod and rise to my feet. “That’s good,” I say numbly but paste on a fake smile. Grabbing my bag off the floor, I walk towards the door. We will make this work. We have to make this work.
Ben follows me and grabs my shoulder, stopping me from leaving. I tense, but before I can react or say anything, he leans in and kisses me. I try to kiss him back, but all I can see in my mind is his hand coming at my face, or the sneer on his lips as he yanked my hair back and snarled at me.
We break apart, and I quickly wipe the stray tear that escaped away.
“I will make sure your flight is booked. I love you, doll.”
“Thank you. I love you too,” I say as I walk out the door and head down to get a taxi.Don’t cry yet Presley. Not yet. Hold it in, I remind myself.
I can’t do this. Any thoughts I had that maybe we can get past this are gone after he pressed his lips to mine, and I felt nothing but fear and anxiety. I can’t be with him anymore. My hand touches my stomach as I think of what will happen now.
I have no one. No friends, no parents involved. Just Ben, who I don’t really have anymore. I am alone. Completely and utterly alone.
“We can do this together, sweetling. Just you and I,” I whisper as I rub small circles on my belly.
I wake in excruciating pain. Pain so unbearable I find myself screaming in agony. I hear movement, talking, beeps, but none of it registers in my mind. Everything goes dark again as the pain disappears.
Ben hired security when he left for Montana a week ago. He said it was necessary now. I don’t know why, and I don’t think I ever want to know. He is a lawyer. We shouldn't need extra security like this.
But because of it, I am not surprised in the least when my phone is buzzing nonstop the day after I get back from Montana. As soon as I got home, I started packing. I knew I wanted to try to be out before he came back and convinced me otherwise. Part of me will always love him, and I don’t want to fall into that side of me. Giving in to what he wants because it would be easier on my anxiety and depression to stay where I’m comfortable.
But I also know I am not going to be comfortable around him anymore. So I looked up random places and stumbled on Jacksonville, which is two hours away from here. There is an open apartment I could afford. Ben takes care of everything financially, but when I did work years ago, I had my own bank account that my checks went into. I never touched it because I just never needed to, and I think Ben forgot about it, especially after I stopped working, so I have plenty of money to move and get settled before I need to find a job.
The phone rings again, but I ignore it, knowing that if I answer Ben’s calls I am more likely to give in and stay and wait for him to come home.
A few months ago when we were having dinner one night with Ben’s parents, his mom slipped something into the pocket of my jacket when we were leaving. When I got home, I realized it was a flash drive. I waited until Ben went to work the next day and then opened it on the computer. I barely got a minute in before I shut it off. I hid it and never looked at it again. But now I stand in our closet, pulling it out from the bra I had hidden it in.
Ben never touched my clothes, so I easily stuck it in a bra that had removable pads in it and haven’t touched it since. But now, my mind is at war with itself. Will he hit me again? Will he do anything extreme? Or will he do nothing? I don’t want to find out, so I know leaving now is my best chance.
A few hours later I have my car packed and ready. I am standing in the kitchen when I hear a commotion by the front entryway. The next second Ben comes flying into the kitchen, pure fury coming off him in waves as he stalks towards me.
I immediately back away from him, the glass of water in my hands slipping from my shaking fingers and shattering on the floor.
“What are you doing, Presley Ann?” he roars at me.
“You cheated on me. We can’t stay together anymore,” I whisper.
“No. You aren’t leaving. Don’t make me hurt you again, Presley. I promised I wouldn’t, but if you don’t behave—”
“I have it,” I blurt out without thinking.
His eyes narrow. “You have what?”
“The flash drive. The one you lost a few months ago. I remember your dad and you looking for it and fighting about it. I have it.”
His eyes flash with anger, and he takes a menacing step towards me. “And why are you telling me this now?” he growls in a low voice.
I jolt awake, gasping for air. Once I calm my breathing, I realize someone is holding my hand as I take in how I feel. I am not in as much pain as I was the first time I woke up.
But I feel different. Something is wrong. I slowly blink my eyes open and see Raven curled up in the chair next to me, sleeping while holding my hand. I gently squeeze her hand, and her eyes pop open. Eyes that look like they haven’t slept in weeks, empty and sad.
