Page 131 of The Moral Dilemma


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We stay like that for what feels like forever, both frozen on the spot, neither speaking. The forest is so quiet, and his raspy breaths caresses my senses, reminding me of what I lost.

God, but why is my life so unfair? I gained him back only to lose him once more.

I sniffle away the tears, trying to occupy my mind with other thoughts. There’s simply no point in despairing over spilled milk. And as Raf said, I need to let him take his time and come to terms with the situation on his own.

But what if he never does?

There’s a tiny voice inside of my head that won’t let me be, showing me all the horrors that await me in the future and how my heart will slowly wither and die.

Once, I thought I’d died with my son. Now, it seems I’m bound to die again. But this time, I doubt there’s anything that can save me.

“When you bought me at that auction,” Raf suddenly speaks. My ears perk up, but I don’t turn. “Were you intending to keep me at the hacienda?”

“No,” I whisper. “No, of course not. I only wanted to make sure no one else bought you. And I would have arranged for you to be sent home if Sergio hadn’t questioned my interest in you. I knew that if I let it slip that you were in any way important to me, he would use you. All along, that was my worry. Sergio…” I take a deep breath as I do my best to forget the images of the past—especially my last day at the hacienda. “You have no idea how much he hated me, Raf.”

“But you outsmarted him.”

“Did I?” I smile sadly. “I wonder. In the end, he still won, didn’t he? He still hit me where it hurt the most.”

“I can’t imagine the strength you must have had to withstand that.” His voice is wistful, and I instinctively hold my breath as I await his next words. “You risked a lot didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I whisper, blinking back tears. “I risked everything.”

The rest remains unspoken.

And I lost everything, too.

“Are you cold?” he asks in a low voice.

My skin is covered in goosebumps, my body shaking quietly.

“Come here,” he says when I don’t reply, and I soon find myself in his arms as he fits his body perfectly to mine, spooning me from behind.

“Why are you nice to me?” I croak, tears spilling down my cheeks.

“Because I love you. Even when I shouldn’t, I still love you,” he murmurs, his mouth close to my ear.

He settles his face into the crook of my shoulder, tightening his grip on me.

“You hurt me, Noelle,” he whispers, and I feel the meaning behind his words in the way his voice trembles with emotion. “You have no idea how much you hurt me.”

“I know,” I whisper back.

“But you also brought me light in my darkest moments,” he continues. “You hurt me, but you also proved to me how much you loved me—time and time again. You put yourself in danger for me—time and time again. You sacrificed yourself for me—even when you thought there was no hope for you. And because of that…” He takes a deep breath. “Because of that, I forgive you.” His voice is gravelly, and charged with emotion.

I turn to him, blinking the tears from my eyes as I search his features.

He’s tense, his eyes full of sorrow, but also full of love.

“Raf,” I sniffle.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he says as he brings his thumb to my face, wiping my tears. “You break my heart when you cry.”

“Is this real?” I whisper.

From the moment I’d remembered what happened at the hacienda, I’d known that should Raf ever know, he’d hate me for it. I’d tried to prepare myself the best I could, but I’d been convinced he could never forgive me.

And now? To hear the words? That he… forgives me.

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