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“The best.”
“That’s good.” Melancholy drenches his words. “Nathan told me you’re happy. But I’m glad I can see it with my own eyes.”
Through the years, I’ve picked up on bits and pieces about his life, but Nathan knew not to tell me much. I wasn’t interested. I know he never married and that he’d been very active in his daughter’s life. But that’s about it.
“And you? Do you have anyone special?”
He shakes his head, looking back out over the water. “Apart from my daughter, Kayleigh, no. There’s been a few women over the years, but nobody I’d call special. There’s only ever been one of those,” he says, looking back at me.
I shift on the bench, not wanting to relive the past.
“So, that’s her name, Kayleigh?”
His smile is as wide as he can make it, pride shining in his eyes. “Yes. You must see her, Bailey. She’s so beautiful. And smart.”
“That’s good.” I share his smile because it’s the same smile I’ve smiled over the years when talking about my children.
He closes his eyes, slightly tipping his head forward. “I’m so damn tired all the time, Bails, but when I close my eyes, I can’t sleep. So, I dream. Do you believe in Heaven, Bails?”
“I do.” I nod, my throat closing up.
“When I dream, I dream about the summers we spent on the farm. The time when Mom was still alive, and life was easy. I dream of us riding our bikes down the dirt road. Swimming in that freezing pond. Telling scary stories around the fire at night. In every dream I have, it’s you and me. That’s what I want my Heaven to be.”
I look to the side, dashing a tear from my cheek.
“Don’t cry for me, Bails. I don’t deserve your tears. I’ll be seeing Mom soon. And Gramps.”
“I’m so sorry, Quinn,” I say, swiping at another tear. I was so determined to be strong.
“Every year on your birthday, I sent you a birthday card.” He sighs, picking at the blanket draped over his legs. “I sent it to our old apartment. I couldn’t pick up the phone and call you, so I sent you a card. I could have sent it to your store, but the apartment was the last place we were happy together. The last place I was truly happy.” His eyes cloud and he looks out over the pond. “I wonder what happened to them. Did someone read them, or did they just throw them in the trash?”
I keep quiet because he’s musing, lost in his thoughts. Even if he was expecting an answer, I wouldn’t know what to say. I spent my life looking towards the future, hardly ever dwelling in the past. I loved Quinn. I did. I thought we had a love that would last a lifetime. But life had a different plan for me. It took everything I thought I knew, had, and loved, and ripped it away. What it gave back was infinitely better. The love I had then, pales in comparison to the love I have now.
And it’s tragic that he never found that with someone else.
“Never mind that,” he says, shaking his head, looking tired. “I asked to see you for a reason.”
He waits for my nod before he continues. “I want to ask something of you. I know you don’t owe me anything, and I have no right to ask but I’m going to ask nonetheless.”
“I’m not robbing any banks for you, Quinn,” I say with a shaky smile, trying to lighten the moment.
“No, no banks,” he says, his lips trembling. “I want your forgiveness. I know what I did to you is unforgivable, and I’ve regretted it every single day of my life. It's been so many years, Bailey, and I hope that somewhere along the line, you’ve been able to find it in your heart to forgive me.”
I take a few moments to compose my thoughts. I want to give him my honesty, not platitudes that I think he’ll want to hear.
For your sake, Bailey, Kallan’s voice echoes in my mind.
“At the time, I was hurt, really hurt. And sometimes, it still hurts. But we were friends first, and that’s what I remember when I think of you now. It’s not healthy to hold on to hate and anger. So, yes, Quinn. You have my forgiveness.”
In a way, he also has my gratitude for freeing me to love someone else.
“Thank you.” He breathes out a shaky breath. “You always were a good person. The best.”
Movement catches my eye, and I see the nurse glancing at her watch and getting up.
“I think our time is over,” I say as she approaches us.
“It’s time for my napless nap,” he jokes, but I can see the fatigue in his body.
