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She licks her lips, and I take a closer look. Is that trepidation I see? She’s nervous.
I sink down on the couch. “I can’t stay long. I have to get back to work.” Right after stopping at the florist, buying the biggest bouquet they have, and dropping it off at Chantler and Cook. Of course, I don’t say that.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurts, almost shouting.
It takes a few seconds for the words to sink in, but then they do, and my body—it’s as if it gets hot and then cold. “What did you say?” My words are barely above a whisper.
“I said, I’m pregnant.”
“With my baby?”
Her eyes widen, and her lips thin. “Of course it’s yours. Who else’s would it be?”
Of. Fucking. Course it’s mine.
Jumping up, I grip my hair and round on her, struggling to keep my voice down. To not grab her and shake her.
“How did this happen? You said you were on the pill?”
“I was! I am!” she cries.
“Then you can’t be pregnant!” I’m losing it, but I don’t care.
“I am. I missed my period, and I never miss my period. So I took a test. About ten different tests, and they all showed positive. You know the pill isn’t always a hundred percent safe.”
“No, no, no, no,” I moan, my legs giving way and sinking back down onto the couch. “Tell me this is a joke? Tell me you didn’t allow this to happen.”
She recoils as if I’ve slapped her. “What?” Her voice is barely above a whisper, her eyes wide with shock. I don’t care. If Bailey finds out, it’s over. There’s no way she’ll ever forgive me for this. If I lose my job, then so be it. Nothing is worth losing Bailey. “You’re saying this is my fault? That I let this happen?”
I drop my head in my hands, my mind spinning, taking a deep breath. I can still salvage this situation. Get ahead of it if I play my cards right.
“Justine,” I say, getting up and embracing her. “I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair. “I didn’t mean that. It was just the shock talking.”
I hold her in my arms to calm her trembling before moving us to the couch. Her eyes are glassy and wide.
“We made a baby,” I whisper, trying out the words. They stick to my mouth like glue. I’ve always wanted children, but not like this. I shouldn’t be surprised. With the amount of sex we had these past months, it was bound to happen. I’m such a fucking idiot.
Justine nods, her wary eyes focused on me. Cupping her cheeks, I lean in, pressing a kiss to her lips.
“As beautiful as that is, a baby right now is not a good idea. You can see that, right?”
The light that started glimmering in her eyes fade. “What are you saying?”
“You’re still trying to figure out what you want in life. I work all the time. Children need so much time and attention, and we’re not in a place in our lives where we’re stable enough to provide that.”
“You want me to get an abortion?”
I nod. “It’s what makes the most sense. You’re still so young, Justine. Just think about it. What about all your dreams? All the things you said you wanted to do? You mentioned you want to travel—see the world. If you have a baby, you won’t be able to do that.”
She’s shaking her head before I’m even done talking. “I know I said all those things, but I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think I want to. I don’t think I can.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Wait, how long have you known?”
“I found out after we got back from our weekend.”
“And you’re only telling me now?”
“I tried. I was going to, then Bailey—”
