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I’ve had some of the best memories of my life in this place. But I’ve also had the worst. The absolute worst.
I stick my hand in my pocket, fingering the bracelet Justine gave me. After she left, I looked it up. It looked expensive, and I wanted to know just how expensive. How much money my husband was willing to spend on his mistress. Apart from my wedding ring, he’s never bought me an expensive piece of jewelry.
It’s called a tennis bracelet, but before that, was referred to as an eternity bracelet. They were meant to symbolize eternal love. I wonder if he knew that when he bought it? I guess it doesn’t matter if he did. Just the fact that it’s so expensive tells a story on its own.
“Fuck it,” I think and open the door.
Quinn’s sitting at our little dining table, his head resting on his hands, a bottle of whiskey and a half-filled glass in front of him. He lifts his head, and his once beloved blue eyes meet mine.
Defeat.
It’s there from the curve of his spine, the slump of his shoulders, and the empty look in his eyes. What’s happened to the man who said that he’d fight for me no matter what? My traitorous heart clenches. No matter how much my mind rages against it, it still feels something for him. If I could wish upon a shooting star right now, I’d wish that I could erase everything I feel for him. Love, hate, anger. I don’t want to feel anything. I’m tired of feeling so much. I wish I could just feel indifference.
“You’re here,” he breathes, a glimmer of light returning to his eyes and his back straightening.
“I said I’d come,” I mutter.
“I thought you said that just to get rid of me.”
“I’m not in the habit of lying, Quinn.”
He flinches. “I deserve that.”
“I’ll just pack, and then we can talk.”
He nods, his eyes dropping back to his glass.
The bedroom is a mess. The bed is unmade, and clothes are scattered everywhere, but it smells like him. Clenching my jaw, I start packing my things. There are so many unknowns in my life, and I don’t know what my future holds, but what I do know is that I’m done with Quinn. I’ll let him talk. Give him one last chance to be honest, not that it would make a difference. Then, I’m closing this chapter of our lives.
With the last of my things packed, I head back to find Quinn still sitting at the table.
My heart is heavy when I settle, across from him, taking in the mess around me. I don’t see many dirty plates, but I do see a lot of empty bottles.
“I guess we need to talk about the…logistics,” I say, trying once again to swallow the rock that lodged itself in my throat when I found out about the baby.
The sooner I can get a lawyer and get the ball rolling, the better.
“No, Bailey. You didn’t give me the chance to explain my side. Please, just give me that.”
“What’s the point, Quinn? When I gave you the chance, you looked me in the eye and lied to me. I’m not interested in hearing more lies.”
“Because I was so fucking scared I was going to lose you! I know I fucked up. I know this. Just a few minutes of your time. You promised.”
I look at him for a few beats before nodding. The air, my body, everything feels heavy as we stare at each other. It’s such a stark reminder of how things have changed in such a short space of time. We were always attached at the hip, things between us easy and uncomplicated, and I thought it would always be that way. The universe or whatever is out there must be laughing at my stupidity.
“I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul-searching since you left. I realize that what I’ve done is…” he shakes his head, rubbing his hands over his face, “…unforgivable, but Bailey, what we had—have—is something worth fighting for. The years between us, the love between us, is enough to get us past this.”
My shoulders tense at his words. “Quinn, I don’t—”
“I know you have a lot of questions,” he interrupts, “and I’ll answer all of them. But before I do, let me get this off my chest, okay? ”
He waits for my nod before continuing.
“I want you to know that I am so fucking sorry for what I’ve done. I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you like this. Seeing the pain I caused you is unbearable, and I will never, ever hurt you like that again. I will live every day showing you how much I love you and not take you for granted. I’ll pay for any counseling we might need. I’ll give you all my passwords, and you can check my phone whenever you want. I promise complete transparency, and I’ll do anything, absolutely anything you need until I’ve restored your trust and faith in me.”
Finally, he loses steam, and I sit forward, clasping my hands on the table.
“That sounds amazing, Quinn. The problem is, I don’t believe a single word you just said.”
