AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His voice drops, turning a delicious flavor of husky that sends shivers dancing down my spine. “I’m so damn tempted to grind my hips into yours so that you’ll never question that again.” My mind is screaming for him to grind away, but the tiny sliver of rationality senses abutin there, so I voice it.
“But?”
“But you’re not ready.”
I am, I really, really am, and suddenly I’m angry. Who does he think he is to tell me what I am and what I’m not?
“You’re wrong. I practically threw myself at you.”
“Trust me, Bailey, you’re not ready. I wish you were, but you’re not. You’re still married.”
I jerk out of his hold. “So it’s okay for Quinn to sleep around but not me?”
“And that right there is why you’re not ready. I know what you’re feeling, what you’re going through. I was you once. They say what you experience in a divorce is like death. The loss of a loved one, a life you had planned. When Josie died, all I wanted was a warm body I could dive into to make me forget when what I really needed was a friend.”
“So that’s it? You want to be my friend?”
“No, yes, none of it, all of it.”
My brows furrow in confusion because he’s not making a whole lot of sense right now.
“Bailey, since the first time I saw you, I wanted it all with you. This,” he says, pointing between us, “is going to happen. A lot.” He breathes in a shaky breath. “Believe me, saying no to you is hard. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do when this is all I’ve been dreaming of since I first saw you. But when it does, it will be only us and a bed. If we do this now, it will be you, me, and Quinn, and I’m a jealous motherfucker. I want you all to myself, and I don’t want you to even be thinking of him. I need you to know when I finally get to have you that’s it. I’m never letting you go. I want us to start right. I want you to want me the same way I want you. I want to be more than just a warm body that helps you forget. And until you get there, I’ll be your support, not your crutch.”
Well then. I’m speechless, my anger dissipating like mist before the morning sun.
“I...I…I’m not sure what to say.”
My heart sinks, realizing he’s right. Not only is there crazy chemistry between us, an undeniable attraction, but he’s a great person and someone I could see myself getting involved with. I’m done with Quinn, but I’m angry and hurt. He’ll be standing between us like a ghost, and that’s not fair. If I start anything with Kallan now, it will be a friends-with-benefits situation because that’s all I have to give right now. And he deserves more than that, deserves more than being used to get over someone.
“I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to think about what I said. What I need you to know is that if being patient is going to get me you in the end, I’m in it for the long haul. I want to fuck you, but after that, I want to make love to you, fall asleep next to you, wake up next to you, have lazy morning sex, go down on you in the shower.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’ve had a lot of time to think of everything I want to do to you—with you. When I found out you were married, I was gutted, but now I’m seeing a chance and I’m not going to blow it. You’re too important for that.”
Silence reigns while I try to digest what he’s said. My thoughts are tumbling like leaves in the wind, and suddenly, I’m exhausted. I’ve had enough of this day. I want it to be over.
“Thank you,” I say, rubbing my eyes and getting up.
“For what?”
“For picking up my pieces. Again.” I wince, not meeting his eyes. Because right now, I feel like I’ve been using him, and it feels horrible. “I’m not being fair to you.”
Tilting up my chin with his strong yet infinitely gentle fingers, he waits for me to meet his eyes.
“Don’t,” he says. “I’m honored that you’re allowing me to be here for you.”
“Yes, well,” I give him a shaky smile. “I think it’s time I get going.”
I still might go to that bar after all.
“No, you’re not. I’m not going to let you drive like this.”
*****
“Tell me about Josie. What was she like?” I whisper to the darkness, wondering about the woman who got Kallan to love her.
I drove to his place, not wanting to be alone. Wanting someone to give me comfort. But the last thing I expected was to find myself in his bed, dressed in one of his shirts and being surrounded by him. It’s unexpected, yet…good. Like my soul has been starved for touch and the comfort it brings, and now it’s being recharged.
He sighs, but it’s not a sigh of reluctance. It’s more of aI’m putting my thoughts togetherkind of a sigh.
“Sorry. You don’t have to. If it’s too hard.”
