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A sob escapes his throat. “So that’s it? Just like that, twenty-two years are over?”
“Yes, Quinn,” I sigh, getting up and feeling utterly and completely defeated and inexplicably bereft. “It was over the moment you stuck your dick into her.”
At the door, I look at him for the last time. He’s back to being slumped forward.
“Please, Bails. I have no one but you.”
“That’s not true. You have a child now.” I feel my face crumple. “I will always love the boy I fell in love with. But this man in front of me? The man you’ve become? I despise him.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
BAILEY
AS Idrive away, I leave Quinn and what feels like my old life behind. I can’t bear the thought of going back to my apartment and having the silence mock me for my life choices. I need someone, something, anything I can feel a connection to.
Stopping outside Kallan’s house, I bite my lip. This is a mistake. I should go to Hannah. Or maybe call Piper and Rose and meet them somewhere. Somewhere I can drown the thoughts that are dripping like acid on what’s left of my shredded self-esteem.
Seeing and talking to Justine has done a number on me. Not once, in all our years together, has a woman managed to turn Quinn’s head. But she did. She’s younger than me. She’s prettier, and I’m sure if it wasn’t for her sleeping with my husband, I would have liked her. She seems…nice. Like the type of person that you can’t dislike, no matter how hard you try. Although, I don’t have to try. I don’t care that she’s a victim in this. I hate her and everything about her. Jealousy is an ugly, ugly monster.
I should leave. I might crave company, but I won’t be good company for anyone. I should go to a bar—not Frosty Frogs—where I’m a stranger in a sea of people. Where I don’t have to burden anyone with my problems.
I put the car in drive, but then his front door opens, spilling light onto his porch. A few seconds later, he’s striding towards me, his long legs eating up the distance between us in no time.
Too late.
Our eyes meet, and all thoughts of leaving disappear. It feels right being here. With Kallan, I can just be myself. I know I’ll get no judgment from him. He’s familiar with loss and all that comes with it.
He opens my door, holding out his hand, and I take it, allowing him to lead me inside.
“His girlfriend came to see me today,” I say once we’re seated. I don’t know what to call her. Girlfriend, mistress, affair partner.Mother of his child. “Seems like he lied to her. Told her we were getting a divorce.”
“And you believe her?”
“He confirmed it,” I say, shrugging weakly. My face crumples, and I drop my head into my hands. “She’s having his baby.”
He makes a sound low in his throat, and then he’s next to me, and I’m sobbing into his chest while his hand moves up and down my back. This is the second time I’ve broken down in front of him, my pride lying in tatters around me.
Just as before, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t try to soothe me with empty words of comfort. He allows me a safe space to let go.
“I don’t know much, Bailey, but I know you don’t deserve any of this.”
His expression is fierce while trailing his fingers over my face, wiping away leftover tears. I’m sure I look like crap because I’m not one of those pretty criers, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
“It blows my mind that a man can have someone like you and throw it away.”
I don’t know what it is—his words, how he’s looking at me, or the way he’s touching me—but then I’m pushing closer and sealing my lips against his. For an unbearable second, his lips are still, but then he moans low in his throat, and his lips are moving with mine, his fingers tangling in my hair. My mind, thoughts, and the world quieten around me, shrinking down to the firm softness of his lips against mine. Down to the flavor of his breath, I taste with every inhale.
“Bailey, no.” He says, ripping his lips from mine and gently untangling himself from me. He sits back, running his hand through his hair. Rejection flashes through me, and if the heat in my face is any indication, my cheeks must be flaming.
“Right,” I nod slowly, scrambling off the couch, mortification sitting on my right shoulder, high-fiving rejection that’s comfortably perched on the left. Desperately, I cast around for my keys. I want to leave. I want to find the closest hole I can find and launch myself into it. Then I want a huge boulder to fall on top of the hole and bury me so deep that no one will ever find me. How could I have been so wrong? I know I haven’t really ever dated—me and Quinn transitioning from friendship straight into a relationship—but I thought I was at least astute enough to recognize the signs if a guy was interested. I’m feeling so miserable I’m not paying attention to anything but grabbing my keys and getting the hell out of dodge. That’s why I almost shriek when Kallan grabs my arm, stopping my mad dash for freedom.
“Bailey, stop.”
My eyes dart around the room, refusing to meet his. “It’s okay, I get it. I thought I saw something that wasn’t there. Let’s just forget it happened and move on.” I’m nodding like a chipmunk on crack, but I can’t seem to stop myself.
“You weren’t wrong.” He sighs and pulls me closer despite my stiff, resisting body, engulfing me in his arms. “I do like you. So fucking much. And the old me would have fucked you without a second thought.”
“You would?” Finally, brave enough, I meet his eyes, and my breath catches at the unwavering intensity burning in them.
