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Heath raised a hand in my direction. “He has his head up his ass.”
“Nice,” I said to his back as he walked away.
“Did something happen between you and Sarah?” Talon asked.
“I broke up with her. Not that it’s any of your business.”
Talon shook his head. “We’re always in each other’s business.”
“I didn’t think you noticed. You’re always hiding out in your shop.” I couldn’t help the hateful words spewing from my mouth.
His shoulders tightened. “I’m trying to do better. I’m here, aren’t I?”
Mine lowered as my anger deflated. “I’m sorry. This has nothing to do with you.”
“Why did you break up?” Talon asked.
“Because I don’t have time for a relationship. I’m needed on the farm. Mom needs me.” As I listed off the reasons, I suddenly felt exhausted.
Talon’s expression hurt more than anything because it was a mixture of understanding and pity. “If I hadn’t messed everything up, my life could have been different. I might have shared it with someone who loves me. I might have kids—” He broke off with a shuddering breath. “I’m worried that you only get that chance once. Don’t make the same mistake I did.” Then he walked away, leaving me gutted.
I plopped down on the straw bale that was there for decoration and dropped my face into my hands. It was where Emmett found me a few minutes later. “Why don’t you go check on Mom and grab a sandwich?”
I stood. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”
“You’re not doing us any good here,” Emmett said to me as I walked away.
I resisted throwing him the middle finger over my shoulder because customers were around. The walk to the main house felt long. I felt defeated, numb, like there was nothing worth living for. I could make sure Mom rested, and I could help my brothers on the farm, but what else was there? Had I screwed up like Talon said? Did we only get one shot with one person, and if we walked away, that was it? But I’d decided I couldn’t be with anyone and be there for my family.
I opened the door and grabbed a sandwich from the always-stocked fridge. I didn’t want to call out to Mom in case she was sleeping.
“I’m in here,” Mom finally said from the living room, where she was sitting on the couch with her legs on the cushions.
“You mind if I eat in here?” I asked her, pleased she had some color in her cheeks.
“Go ahead. I want to talk to you anyway.”
I grimaced as I unwrapped the cold lunch meat sub. “What about?”
She gave me a pointed look. “Why hasn’t Sarah been around?”
I groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it. I’d much rather hear how you’re doing.”
Mom gave me a look. “I’m fine.”
I took a huge bite of the sub, hoping it would save me from talking any more about my feelings.
“Now, tell me what’s going on with Sarah,” Mom said firmly.
“I needed some space. I’m busy with the farm—you.”
“I’m disappointed in you,” Mom said softly, but the words hit their intended target with precision.
Despite the searing pain in my chest, I chewed, swallowed, and drank from the bottle of water I’d grabbed from the fridge. “I should have been available last night. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not talking about you being at the hospital. But Heath said you didn’t hear the phone vibrating. It was the middle of the night, and I was well cared for.”
“I wasn’t there.” That’s all that mattered.
