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I felt a little better knowing Mom was worried about Talon, too. I could talk to Emmett, but he was so wrapped up in Ireland. I didn’t want to interfere.
The weight of my responsibilities felt heavier when I discounted Emmett from the equation. He had Ireland and shouldn’t need to be so involved with his brothers. That job rested with me now. I wouldn’t let them down. Just like I shouldn’t have let Mom and Dad down when Dad had his heart attack. Maybe I couldn’t have prevented it, but I could have been here, shouldering the responsibility.
I didn’t spend much time in the barn, but I had to admit it was nice. Several trees showcased the ornaments and decorations we sold on consignment. Talon made a few metal decorations to hang on the wall or on siding. There were a few new ones that had the same type of lights he’d made for the display on the lane.
I wondered if he’d make more of those for sale in the store. It would only increase awareness of his other work. It was his lighting that hung from the ceiling of the barn. Twinkling lights hung from the beams, and the smell of hot chocolate and cookies drew people inside. We even had bathrooms inside. Mom had insisted on indoor plumbing when Emmett suggested Porta Potties. He hadn’t wanted anything so permanent, but I had to admit, it set our farm apart from the others.
Customers had a pleasant experience when they came here. I hoped we could add to that with the addition of the light display. At the very least, Ember and Addy would enjoy it.
When I went outside, watching the lot and making sure the trees were secured correctly on top of the vehicles, I couldn’t help but feel pride that my father had built this place, and we’d only grown it more with everything we’d added over the last few years. It would support Mom well into retirement. If we were smart, maybe we’d even build generational wealth going forward.
I’d talk to Sebastian about investing some of the money into the stock market so we could continue to build the savings. I wanted my mother, my brothers, and Ember to be taken care of. I couldn’t help but think about the possibility of having children—not just Addy, but kids of my own. Would I want them to carry on this legacy or have the choice to do whatever they wanted in life? I wanted to give them the money, means, and support to follow their dreams.
I might have enjoyed working in architecture, but that didn’t mean it was my passion and what I would have spent my life doing. I breathed in the scent of evergreens, knowing this was where I belonged.
Everything and everyone I loved was here. I’d protect them at all costs. I hoped that I could count Sarah and Addy into that equation going forward.
Chapter 19
Sarah
After Sunday night, I felt settled in my relationship with Knox in a way I hadn’t before. He’d spent an evening with us, doing exactly what we did to prepare for the week. We did laundry, dishes, and cleaned the kitchen. Knox had even helped Addy get her backpack ready for the next day. He hadn’t balked at doing any of it.
I hadn’t realized how much Gary’s indifference had affected my interactions with other people. I accepted help from my family, but not from others. If I wanted a solid relationship with Knox, I needed to let him in. He was a protector, a fixer. He wanted to help me, and I needed to let him. When I let go, I could be grateful and enjoy what he was doing for us. I didn’t have to do everything on my own anymore.
I needed to make some changes in other areas, too. The first thing I did was call Gary. I didn’t usually call him often, other than to verify visitation times. The conversations always left me feeling helpless and out of control.
When he finally answered, he said snidely, “Are you finally not busy?”
I almost said we spent the weekend at a Christmas tree farm before I remembered it wasn’t any of his business. “I have a few minutes to talk.”
“I wanted to figure out the holidays.”
“There’s nothing to figure out,” I said, with my heart beating hard in my chest.
“We haven’t decided on anything yet.”
“Our agreement states that I get Addy for Christmas Eve and until noon on Christmas Day. You get her that evening through noon on her birthday.”
He sputtered. “We’ve never followed that.”
“We are now.” I vowed to say as little as necessary to get my point across. I wouldn’t bring emotion into this. We had a legal agreement, and we’d follow it.
“Why the sudden change?”
“Not knowing the schedule is disruptive to my life and Addy’s. We don’t need to discuss it or plan for everything because we already have everything in writing.”
“It’s always been easier to make our own plans,” Gary said reasonably.
“Not anymore. Not since I realized how much it drained me.”
“This isn’t about you. This is about Addy spending time with me.” Gary’s tone darkened.
He was trying to guilt trip me, but I wouldn’t fall for it this time. “You’re the one who’s in control of seeing her. You can see her anytime we outlined in the agreement.”
“You’re being ridiculous. What happens if I can’t make it on Christmas?”
“Then you get her during the next visitation period. You get her every other weekend.” I didn’t want to give up that much time with her, but it was his right to see his daughter.
