Page 86 of Finding Sunshine


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“You know I can’t travel that often.”

“There’s going to come a time when Addy gets it. When she realizes how often you make time to see her.” And I’ll be there to pick up the pieces, to soothe her aching heart.

“You’re stopping me from seeing her,” he hissed into the phone.

I ground my teeth together. “I’ve never done that.”

“It’s what you’re doing right now.”

My gaze snagged on the picture on my desk of me holding Addy as a baby. We were alone, and back then, I didn’t realize how often that would be the case for us. “You can see her per the terms of the agreement.”

Gary’s voice raised. “Then I’ll be in town this weekend to take Addy on her scheduled visitation.”

I knew this might happen. He’d call my bluff, threatening to use his time. But I had to stay strong. Unless he was planning to move to Maryland, it was unlikely he’d be able to see her often. I was more worried about him taking her for the two weeks over the summer, but I’d worry about that when it happened. “I probably won’t tell her until you’re in town. So let me know when you are.”

He hung up without saying anything further. In the past, I’d tell Addy when he said he was coming, and she’d be disappointed when he didn’t show up. I avoided that by not telling her until I was positive he’d come.

When I put my phone down, my hands were shaking. I hadn’t realized what a toll that conversation would take on me. At the same time, I felt good about sticking to the agreement.

Then I spent the afternoon looking at the number of clients I had for editing, the rate I was charging them, and whether it would cover my bills. I worked out the number of clients I absolutely needed to get by, and a number that would feel even better. I decided to put some feelers out to see if I could bring in more clients.

By the end of the day, I heard back from a few clients saying that they had referrals for me. I’d slowly start increasing my workload to see how doable it was. Once I got to a certain number of bookings, I’d give my notice at work. It was scary, but the thought of working one job instead of two was attractive.

Especially since I’d be my own boss. I brainstormed other services I could offer, like writing blurbs, series bibles, and query letters for authors trying to go through a traditional publisher. These items would take less time than editing a full manuscript.

Satisfied it was a real possibility, I felt better than I had in a long time. I had Knox, I was handling Gary, and I had a plan for my future.

On Wednesday night, I went over to my parents’ for dinner. Grace couldn’t come because she had to work late, but we were going out for drinks afterward.

“What’s new with you?” Mom asked, probably expecting me to say nothing because nothing new had happened since Knox came into my life.

Addy was reading her library book in the living room with Dad, so I felt like I could be honest with her.

“A lot, actually.” I’d worked the same job for years, needing consistency and security. I was stuck, afraid to make any decisions or take any risks. But for the first time, I felt hopeful about the future. Like I was in control of my destiny and not the other way around. Maybe I could build a better future for my daughter.

One where I didn’t even need to rely on Gary’s child support to get by. Maybe it would be extra, and I could put it into a college fund for her.

I felt stronger than I had since I graduated from college and was truly on my own. There was something to feeling like I could take care of myself that was addicting.

Mom pulled the casserole out of the oven. “Tell me. I’m dying to know.”

“I evaluated my finances and editing clients to see if making it a full-time gig was feasible, and I think it is. I’m going to continue growing the business before I give notice.”

“You know we’ll help if you need it,” Mom said.

“I appreciate that, but I don’t want to rely on you. I can do this myself.”

“I’m proud of you, but what prompted you to consider it?” Mom asked.

“Knox opened my eyes to the possibilities. That maybe I’m not stuck in this life I’m living now. That I can create a new one that takes care of me and Addy. I want to make enough money that I don’t need Gary’s help.

“I don’t want to say he pushed me or anything. He just made me see that there’s more to life than this careful existence I’ve been living. I’ve been afraid to take any risks.”

“You’re a single mother. I can understand that.”

“I’m tired of the way Gary treats us. I want to remove him from the equation. I want to know what to expect when it comes to him. The only way to do that is to stick to the agreement.” I spoke faster, my heart racing as I admitted it out loud.

“Good for you,” Dad said as he walked into the room. Addy was still on the couch, reading her book.

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