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“Maybe.”
I chuckled. Being around kids was fun. “I’ll be sure to put them away after we’re done with them.”
I moved to grab the pancake mix, knowing our time was short this morning, and mixed everything together. Addy snuck chocolate chips but not so many that I worried about her stomach.
I started the mini pancakes on the stove before Sarah joined us. She was carrying my phone. “This was buzzing.”
I wiped my hands before grabbing it. “I forgot about it.”
It was rare for me not to check it immediately upon waking. But then Addy surprised us. When I grabbed it, I saw missed calls from Heath and Sebastian. “Can you watch the pancakes?”
Sarah moved to take over for me. “Of course.”
I went into the living room and listened to the voicemail from Heath. Knox. Mom’s having chest pain. We’re taking her to the hospital. My heart stuttered to a stop. With each voicemail, my brothers’ voices grew more frantic as they couldn’t reach me.
I called Heath, hoping everything was okay.
“Where’ve you been?” Heath’s tone was short.
“I’m sorry. I spent the night at Sarah’s.”
“And turned your phone off?”
I closed my eyes at the accusation I heard in his tone. It must have been on the floor, because I never heard the vibration. I was distracted, and it cost me again. “I’m sorry. How is she?”
“They’re doing testing to see what’s going on. Are you on your way?”
That snapped me into action. “I’ll be right there.”
Heath clicked off without another word, and I didn’t blame him. They were in the hospital all night without me. I hadn’t been there when they needed me. Again. It was my responsibility to make sure everyone in the family was okay, especially my mother.
I ran upstairs to grab my boots and make sure I had everything. Then I returned to the kitchen. “My mom’s in the hospital. I have to go.”
Sarah’s face filled with concern. “Is she okay?”
“I don’t know.” I felt numb. “I just need to get there.”
“If you wait a few minutes, I’ll go with you.”
“You have Addy. She has school.”
“I can join you after.”
“Don’t worry about it. You have your job, and I’ll be okay. I have my brothers.” I wouldn’t be okay. I was screwing around and wasn’t there when my mother needed me.
“I hope your mommy’s okay,” Addy said, and I couldn’t help but go to her and pull her in for a hug. “She will be.”
I didn’t believe it, but I wanted Addy to feel okay. “Have a good day.”
I couldn’t promise to see her later because I wasn’t sure what was going on. Did my mom have a heart attack? I couldn’t believe this was happening all over again. The only good thing was she was alive. They could run tests. With my father, Mom had found him at some point after the heart attack, and it was too late.
I consoled myself with the idea that I’d get another chance. This time, I wouldn’t mess up. I wouldn’t let anything, or anyone, distract me. My place was on the farm and with my family.
“I have to go.” My voice felt flat, my feet heavy as I moved toward the door, wondering how I’d drive to the hospital.
Sarah’s arms wrapped around me from behind. “She’ll be okay.”
“You can’t know that.” My voice was harsher than I intended. But I didn’t like people trying to tell me things would be okay when I knew they wouldn’t. I’d screwed up, and there was no way around that.
