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I didn’t turn around. I didn’t offer any false platitudes. I needed to get to the hospital. I needed to do my duty and be there for my brothers.
I don’t remember walking out or driving to the hospital. The next thing I knew, I was standing at the emergency room counter, asking to see my mother. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my palms were sweaty. I never made it to the hospital last night because I was so far away.
I followed the nurse’s directions to the area where Mom was staying. My brothers were waiting on benches outside the room.
Sebastian stood when he saw me. “Where were you?”
“I was at Sarah’s. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
“You didn’t answer your phone.” Talon sat on the bench.
“I didn’t hear it.” It wasn’t an excuse. “What’s going on?”
“They’re running more tests. They haven’t said what happened yet. It could be nothing,” Emmett said.
“Or it could be a heart attack,” I said, not willing to relax yet.
“We won’t know until the testing has been completed. Have a seat.” Emmett pushed a hand on my shoulder until I sat next to Seb.
Ireland was next to him, which only made my heart hurt more. My brothers and Ireland were here for Mom last night, and I wasn’t. It was my worst nightmare. I came home so this wouldn’t happen again. But nothing had changed. I still wasn’t where I was supposed to be.
Chapter 21
Sarah
I watched the pancakes cook on the stove without really seeing them. Addy was concerned about Lori, and I couldn’t blame her. I was worried, too.
I was even more upset about how Knox reacted after checking his phone. His face was ashen, his forehead creased with anxiety. He was upset about his mother and missing the calls from his brothers.
It wasn’t surprising that we missed the vibration if we were sleeping. He couldn’t blame himself. It could have happened to anyone, and it sounded like his brothers were there for her.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was connecting what happened last night to his dad’s heart attack. He felt responsible, even though he wasn’t living here at the time, and that same sense of duty was kicking in now for his mom.
Or maybe it was just frustration that he couldn’t be there last night when she needed him. But everything in my body was telling me this was bad. He blamed himself, and I was going to be part of that. If he hadn’t been distracted with me, he would have been there.
He could just as easily have missed the calls at his house, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t see it that way. He took his family responsibilities seriously. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to his mother and he wasn’t there.
“Will she be okay?” Addy asked for the fifth time when I set a stack of pancakes in the center of the table.
“I hope so. Try to eat something. You have a spelling test this morning.”
But neither of us were particularly hungry anymore. I cleared the dishes, prompted her to brush her teeth, and walked her to the bus stop. I hugged her tight when the bus arrived, telling her to have a good day. She gave me a sad smile that I had a hard time returning.
I wasn’t sure anything would be okay, especially with Knox and our relationship. I had a feeling everything had just changed, and I wasn’t sure what to do. It didn’t sound like he wanted me to be there for him, but I texted him anyway, telling him I’d come if he needed me.
He answered after an hour, telling me to stay and work. He’d let me know what was happening. Even though I checked the phone throughout the day, I didn’t get another message.
It felt weird to reach out to one of his brothers, but I needed to know if his mother was okay. I finally texted Sebastian since his was the only number I had.
He’d responded, saying that they’d run tests and couldn’t find anything. She had heart palpitations and shooting pain in her chest. They didn’t think it was a heart attack. Maybe too much caffeine or stress.
I could see that, with it being so busy at the farm. I thought about reaching out to Knox again, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I talked to Sebastian, and everything sounds okay. So why aren’t you calling me?
But he didn’t need to worry about me when his mother was in the hospital. I’d give him a day or two to calm down and realize that he’d overreacted.
Then I got a message from Gary saying he was in town for his weekend visitation. The one I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t have Knox here telling me everything was going to be okay, and I was a bit of a mess.
I didn’t have a choice. It was his right to see her. I just hoped he gave her back at the end of the weekend. I’d heard horror stories of parents taking off with kids, and my mind was racing with the worst-case scenarios.
