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Javi:Can you cancel them? I’ve been thinking about you all day, don’t leave me hanging.
I heave a sigh, leaning back in my desk chair and staring at my phone screen, my eyes darting back and forth as I re-read.
He’s been thinking about me all day.
Even if it’s just some bullshit line designed to hit me right in the feels, it works. Because I’ve been thinking abouthimall day, too- or more specifically, about that kiss last night being the single hottest sexual encounter I’ve ever had. Who knew a kiss could feel likethat? Goosebumps pebble up on my arms at the mere thought of how it felt to have his hard body pressed against mine as he devoured me with his lips and tongue and teeth.
As the scene replays in my memory, heat begins pooling in my core, a dull throb starting between my legs. I press my thighs together tightly, biting my lip and willing the sensation away as I type out a response to Javi.
Lo:Sorry, my friends will get suspicious if I try to get out of it. Maybe tomorrow.
His reply is almost instantaneous.
Javi:Damn.
Javi:Did you listen to the song?
I’d forgotten about the Spotify link he sent over with his first message. Dropping my phone onto my desk, I lean over to reach into my gym bag again, finding my earbuds. After slipping one into each ear, I pick up my phone and scroll back through his texts to open the link.
The gentle opening notes of a guitar flood in through my headphones as ‘Iris’ by The Goo Goo Dolls starts to play. I’veheard this song before, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever really paid attention to the words. Now, I’m definitely paying attention.
And I’d give up forever to touch you, ‘cause I know that you feel me somehow. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, and I don’t wanna go home right now.
My throat tightens, my heart slamming harder against my ribs as the meaning behind the lyrics sinks in. I’m not sure music has ever affected me like this song is right now- especially when the chorus drops:
And I don’t want the world to see me, ‘cause I don’t think that they’d understand. When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.
I listen to it twice, fighting an internal battle over my obligations to the squad and my own selfish desires the entire time. Hanging out with Javi was supposed to be a means to an end; a way to get information from him so I could use that to accomplish the task I was set on. Instead, I got caught up in the thrill of getting to know him, giving away more information than I got in return. Aside from exploring our chemistry, all I’ve learned is where his pack resided most recently and that he’s an only child raised by a single mother. It’s not much to go on, but I’ll have to try to use it to finish what I started.
Stick to the plan, Lo.
Since when do I allow my emotions to cloud my judgment or prevent me from looking at things objectively? Now more than ever, I need to refocus my energy and get back on track. But before I do, I send a quick reply to Javi.
Lo:I listened. I like it.
As soon as I hit send, I power off my phone, tucking it back in my gym bag and effectively removing the distraction. It’s time to focus on what’s truly important and get back to work. This job also has a dual purpose, because if everything checks out with Javi and his pack, I’ll be free to pursue a relationship with him without all this uncertainty hanging over our heads. But if it doesn’t, then it’s definitely better to find out now, before my stupid heart gets involved.
But even as that thought crosses my mind, I get a sinking feeling, because I know it’s already too late.
11
“Watch your form,” I warn Chey as she swings out wide in an attempt to block my blow. In doing so, she leaves her chest open yet again, and I easily knock her back.
She stumbles a few steps from the force of my push, catching herself before falling and straightening to her full height. “Iamwatching my stupid form,” she huffs in frustration.
“Hey, don’t get mad at me,” I say, backing up a step and showing her my palms. “You’re the one who asked me to teach you how to defend yourself.”
“And now I’m regretting it,” she grumbles.
I blow out a slow breath, shaking my head. “I never said it’d be easy.”
Cheyenne frowns, folding her arms across her chest and kicking at the dirt with the toe of a sneaker.
I’ve been working with her for months, sneaking out to the woods to do one-on-one training, and this is the part where she usually tries to call it quits for the day. I can practically see the words forming on her tongue as she opens her mouth to speak, so I quickly head her off, shaking out my arms and bouncing on the balls of my feet.
“C’mon, let’s try again.”
Though the look on her face says trying again is the last thing she wants to do right now, she relents, dropping her arms and settling into a defensive position.
