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Her jaw stiffened. “Oh, but I want to tell you…” There was an almost maniacal quality to her voice.
“No, goddamnit…don’t!”
“Yes, I…pretending, acting like I enjoyed their hands on my body as if I was actually fucking coming…” She faced him, bitterness dripping from her words. “I became skilled at that…Academy Award-winning good.”
The muscle in his jaw ticked; he should have just stopped himself, but he blurted out the next question. “So why did you sleep with me? You didn’t know who I was or anything, you…”
She sucked her cheeks into her mouth, willing herself to gain control as a lone tear escaped, running down her face. She used her sleeve to wipe it away, thinking the answer was because ‘I really liked you and still do,’ but she’d never say that to him, not now. “I didn’t need or want you to be anybody. I don’t need some man to make me…” Her heart pounded against her sternum, and she laid her hand on her chest to stave off the ache. This end, thisinevitable end, was here. She’d thought about it so many times. At least before he knew, she could imagine that he’d hear the fluffy movie trailer version she’d discussed with Matt, that Jake would almost shrug, knowing his life hadn’t been without some detours.
“Make you? So why me, some meathead from the gym?” he pushed, steering his voice in a calm direction.
Another tear rolled over the apple of her cheek, then another; she wanted it to stop. “To get off, just that, get off, fucking come.” Her voice broke as tears started marching down her face, betraying the coldness in her voice.
So many thoughts sputtered through his brain.Get off, shit, you were working as an escort, fucking for money, what the hell?“So with me…you weren’t…”Why did that matter, Jake?
Squeezing her eyes shut, she whispered, barely audible, “It was real, you made me…it was real.”
He almost smiled and said, “Good, glad I got that right.” But the sound of her sniffling back her tears stopped him. His heart burned, wishing he could squelch some of the angst between them.
He cleared his throat as he turned onto another street. “So all those women used me for some ‘Jake Skyler dream,’ and you used me for orgasms? Shit, I’m feeling pretty used.” There was purposeful amusement in his tone. “But truthfully, I’d rather be used for orgasms…less pressure. Don’t think I live up to the ‘Jake Skyler dream.’”
Her lips parted, and a small smile broke on her otherwise tight face, even as the tears continued sliding down her cheeks.
It hit her again:How did he know? She went by a different name as an escort. He had heard it in Miami, but there was no record, so how did he find out? She wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffing. “Jake, how did you find out?” Her voice was tentative.
He thought he registered fear in her tone. “Um, well, after I tried to find you on social media and found no trace, I thought it was odd, so I had you…” He hesitated; she liked Jenae and Winnie, and he didn’t want to bring them into it. “I had you looked into…” he hushed in a breathy whisper, unsure how to explain it.
“Had me looked into…what do you mean?” she pushed, sniffling as he steered into the garage of her complex.
He pulled into a space close to the elevator so he could walk her up to her place, hoping they could continue talking. He glanced at her. “Investigated. I had an attorney who does that sort of thing, look into you,” he said sheepishly.
Her face dropped into her hands. “What the hell?” she muttered into her palms. “You had me investigated?” Shock tipped every syllable. “What kind of person does that?” She jerked her head up and grabbed her purse. Her hand on the door handle, she narrowed her eyes on him. “Fuck you!” she hissed, starting to open the door.
“No, wait, let me walk you”—he was desperate to explain—“please,Rae-kale.”
She opened the door and jumped out, craning her neck back, glaring at him. “Fuck no, I don’t need you or any other man…to ESCORT me anywhere,” she bit out, jabbing him with her words.
“Rakell,” he yelled after her, his hand on the door handle of his truck, watching her walk to the elevator, his heart squeezing like someone was wringing it out. He hit the steering wheel as the elevator door closed behind her. “Damn it, I fucking love you, damn it!” he screamed in his truck.
His phone buzzed. He wondered how long he’d been sitting there.
Dwayne:Get your ass here…not doing these interviews without you…Send
Dwayne:Reporters are all asking about Jumbotron girl…Send
Jake looked at the time—8:15…shit, he’d been sitting in his truck for thirty minutes.
The night was a blur, Jake talking to reporters, old friends, and fans. Dwayne and he did a couple of joint interviews. A few women approached Jake, but he was blank and couldn’t muster any enthusiasm.
Jenae and Winnie arrived around 9:30.
Jenae pulled Jake aside. “How’d it go?” she asked, tentatively registering the distress radiating from him.
The fake smile he’d plastered on his face dropped into a straight line. “It, well, pretty much blew up, so disaster might be an apt way to describe the evening.”
“Oh, Jake. I’m sorry…” she said, her hand touching his arm.
“Yeah, been vacillating between getting drunk and hooking up with that cute brunette over there who’s already made it clear I can have her or getting drunk and crying all night.” His mouth contorted into an exaggerated frown. “Not sure which one is more destructive.”
