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Pressure
What am I going to do?
If Tes hadn’t been frozen in shock, she would have turned and fled. She would have grabbed as many weapons as she could along the way, too, for she couldn’t confront her father with her wits alone. But the confusion and concern on her friend’s face held Tes locked in place even when the shock began to wear off. She couldn’t abandon her mission, but she refused to abandon the people she’d come to care for, either.
“Forgive me if I was too harsh,” Ria said. “Or am I wrong? Perhaps I assumed too much.”
Tes opened her mouth to take the opportunity Ria had presented and lie. But she couldn’t. “Mery didn’t tell you?” she asked instead, her voice cracking on the words.
Her friend studied her with open speculation. “I wasn’t aware that Mery examined you. It’s simply that today, the signs seem obvious. You aren’t worried about milk leaking onto the padding under your armor, yet you were clearly pained by the constriction to your breasts. Then I recalled how hesitant you’vebeen to eat at meals and how exhausted you’ve seemed. As I have recently been with child, I thought it clear.”
“Apparently, it was clearer to you than it has been to me.” Sighing, Tes let her arms drop. “I haven’t been hiding it from you while you’ve worked on my armor. I only found out this morning when I asked Mery to help my milk dry up. Except…Ididintend to keep the truth from you, so I suppose there’s not much difference.”
Ria flinched. “Ouch. I thought we’d grown to be rather close.”
A trickle of regret soured Tes’s stomach, and the cool breastplate beneath her arms suddenly felt like ice. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you. As a person. But you’re also the queen, and if Toren finds out, then Ber will learn about it, too. And he can’t. It would be a disaster.”
“What?” Ria’s mouth dropped open. “Tes! You haven’t told Ber? But why? He’s an excellent father, and since he missed Speran’s birth, I’m sure he would be thrilled to—”
“That’s just it,” Tes interrupted quickly, her stomach churning all the more. “He missed Speran’s birth because he formulated an elaborate plan to see me safely ensconced here for most of my pregnancy and beyond. But I must go to Centoi in a little less than a week. Any children of mine will live in fear of assassins forever if I don’t settle this. Of all people, you should understand how awful that is.”
A grimace of comprehension crossed Ria’s face. Though she was now queen, Ria had once been a tailor’s daughter. The man had held her captive for her alteration magic, and part of his threat had been toward her future children. A deal with the kings had saved her. Surely, she wouldn’t begrudge Tes her secrecy in a similar situation.
“I won’t tell Ber myself,” Ria said softly. “But I still think he needs to know. You were just saying during our last chat that you’d come so far with trusting one another.”
It was Tes’s turn to wince. “I know, but…”
“Think about it.”
“I can’t,” Tes replied, licking her dry lips.
But as they continued the fitting, she found that her friend’s words were all shecouldthink about.
Though it should have,training hadn’t eased Ber’s tumultuous feelings at all. In fact, it had made his emotional state worse. Giving his frustration and anger an outlet had only allowed the hurt free rein, and no amount of bashing targets with his sword had helped that. But worst of all, he hadn’t been able to deny one truth—his current misery was a descendant of his own faulty thinking and poor decisions.
Too bad he couldn’t throttle his past self.
Nor could avoid the meeting he’d been dreading, though he couldn’t make himself hurry. When he strode into his brother’s sitting room, he discovered that the others had already arrived. Someone had pulled the small dining table from the corner and grouped chairs around it, but at least no one had seated themselves yet. Instead, they stood together near the center, Ria speaking quietly about something.
Her voice cut off before he could tell what she said, and all four of them gave him odd looks as he approached. Had Tes changed her mind and told the others about her pregnancy? A hint of anger darkened Ber’s mood further. Had he hated the results of his time on the training field? Now, he couldn’t fathom why he’d decided to stop bashing things. He could no doubt break an entire field of practice targets—or injure an actual sparring partner.
Toren’s brows drew together. “I take it that training didn’t improve your mood?”
Though Mehl and Ria both appeared puzzled by the question, Ber didn’t miss the worry that crossed Tes’s face. She wouldn’t know why he’d been training, but she would surely be contemplating the possibilities. His chest tightened at the thought of the fear she held inside, yet he couldn’t help the widening thread of anger winding through him. He should have divined the reason for the edginess he’d sensed from her lately.
But he hadn’t.
He ignored her little shiver as he turned toward his brother. “It did not. But is anyone pleased when a conversation stops as soon as they enter a room?”
“I’m sorry, Prince Ber,” Ria said, her soft laugh sounding more than a little nervous. “I couldn’t remember the word for the piece of armor I was describing, and then I noticed your deep frown and grew concerned. I lost track of what I was saying.”
He wasn’t sure he believed her, but suddenly, he didn’t care. He wanted this meeting over with sooner rather than later. “Perhaps we should go ahead and work on battle plans, then.”
“Perhaps so,” Toren agreed, gesturing toward the table.
Ber was the first to sit, though he didn’t want to do any of it. Not the battle, the meeting, or even a discussion. He would far rather scoop Tes out of the chair she’d just claimed beside his and haul her up to their rooms. And there they would stay until she finally admitted to him that she was carrying his child.
Too bad the rest of the world wouldn’t wait.
