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“Because you’d throw away everything for an absurd supposition.” She boosted onto her elbow, half-leaning over him. “Do you know why I compared you to your brother? Because you’re both the most infuriating combination of arrogance and insecurity I’ve ever met.”
“Toren—”
“Fears himself and his power. He fears losing his loved ones,” Tes said. “He never shows it outside of his inner sanctum, but that insecurity is there when in private.”
After all this time, his brother was still that afraid of his power? “He didn’t seem so last time we spoke.”
Tes sighed. “He doesn’t trust you enough to show you.”
An agonizing, damning little statement.
“It’s time you both move on from past pain.” Tes wiggled closer until she was nearly half on top of him. “You want a newrole? Rule with me as my king. Our people could use your help after the disaster of my father’s reign.Ifyou can drag yourself out of the comfortable shadows.”
That truth arrowed straight through him, drawing out a wince. Yes, the darkness was more comfortable. Oh, he couldbein the open—court functions, parades, endless dinners—but that was still a form of cover. For what those people saw was only a shell, one that held few remnants of his true heart.
Though at this point, even he had lost track of that truth.
“You’re right.” He trailed his fingers down her cheek. “But maybe I’m no longer sure which part of me is a disguise.”
“You could take a lesson from Mehl.” He frowned, but she poked his chest before he could say a word. “And don’t get offended before you think it through. He’s a former bodyguard who literally had to step forward as king. If he could do it, can’t you?”
Ber’s scowl deepened. “It’s not the same.”
“Maybe not.” Her contrasting smile was pure sweetness. “Hehadn’t been raised as a prince, had he?”
He and Mehl had never gotten along. The man was too observant by far, seeing just enough of Ber’s actions to mistrust him deeply. Sometimes accurately, no less. For his part, Ber hadn’t thought the man was good enough for his brother. A mere bodyguard, when Toren could have chosen nearly anyone? But Mehl had stepped admirably into the position of king, and his love for Toren was undeniable. That much had been obvious during Ber’s last visit.
Even so.
“I’ll consider the comparison. Maybe,” Ber conceded.
Tes laughed. “See that you do.”
Ber could only grimace. It seemed he didn’t have a choice—not with his wife staring at him with such hope.
She really had beenwrong about him, difficult though it was to admit after the length of their acquaintance. Yet something told her it wasn’t her fault that she’d missed the scope of her husband’s secret depths. Ber had changed since her fateful trip to Llyalia. It was as though his revelation about helping Toren had cracked open the shell he’d formed around himself, one she’d seen and hadthoughtshe understood.
The sad, lonely boy hiding his vulnerability from the court—that was what she’d first seen. It had even been an accurate assessment. He’d been sent to Centoi at a younger age than usual, and since the Llyalian nobles had already disliked him, the whispers and sneers had trailed him here. He had indeed been lonely. There’d been no lie to those interactions.
But only he had known that it had been with a purpose.
She never could have imagined that he’d been so loyal to his brother that he would pretend to be his nemesis. It had been no shallow act, either. He’d closed his affection for Toren off until it was impossible to detect. Such a profound amount of love to wall away—and he’d attempted to do the same thing with his love for her.
In the light she’d cast, she could finally study the familiar shape of his face in a slow, detailed perusal. That tiny line had formed beside his left eyebrow, the one that shouted his annoyance at whatever one happened to be discussing, and his lips were curled into a moue of distaste. Even so, there was a new softness to him that melted her as thoroughly as his heat.
After he’d seemingly abandoned her for dead in Llyalia, it had taken her weeks to come to terms with the contrast between his actions and her long-held faith in him. Such wasted time,considering she’d been right to trust him all along. She refused to throw away another moment, no matter what came. She would far rather enjoy their time together while she could.
“Are you pouting?” she teased. “Speran gets that same little frown when I don’t pick him up quickly enough, you know.”
Ber flinched, the movement so slight she might have missed it if she hadn’t been leaning against his chest. “No. I don’t.”
Those three words severed her good humor like a sharp blade through a tendon.
His mask fell, and his shattered expression demolished her heart. Why hadn’t she considered her words more carefully? She’d had her own share of agony from their separation during and after Speran’s birth, but for most of that time, it had been balanced by anger. Her beloved had had only duty and regret, pitiful bolsters against such pain.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Truly sorry. You’ll meet him soon. I’ll see to it.”
Ber’s hand curled around her waist, subtly drawing her closer. He sighed. “He’ll likely want nothing to do with me, having gone so long without my presence.”
