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Hard head or not, he’s mine.
I realize Maddie is looking at me and there’s a faraway expression on her face. She notices me staring and she jerks her head, wiping her hands on the kitchen towel.
“You’re good for him,” she says. “I know I’m only fifteen years older than him, but he feels like a son. And I hope you choose him because he’s one of the good ones.”
“He’s done a lot of bad things,” I whisper.
She nods. “That’s true. But what’s that they say about casting the first stone? He who is without sin, and all that.”
It hits me right then that I could cast a stone at him. I look down at my hands, twisted together. They’re clean.
But they’re untested.
I’ve spent my life being washed on the tides. Bouncing from one caretaker to the next, bending to their will. I had the luxury of keeping my head down, but Gerard didn’t.
His hands are bloody so mine can be clean.
And that’s enough for me to choose him.
And I do—I do choose Sovereign. Despite everything he’s done, despite his cold mind, his scarred heart, and his calloused hands. I have a soft enough heart and plenty of tears for us both.
Which means, if he’s not back in the morning, I’m going after him.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
GERARD
It’s fuck-all cold at the top of the hill overlooking Thomas Garrison’s house. We stand in a silent row, like grim reapers on our horses. At the bottom of the hill, with the road in the far background, sits the final third of the farmland that’s been a specter at the corner of my mind for so long.
Tonight I’m laying that ghost to rest.
There’s a light on in the kitchen. I glance at Westin because I know he’s staring at it, painfully aware Diane is inside.
“She’ll be free after tonight,” I say quietly.
He snorts. “Like she’d fuck me after I kill her husband.”
He realizes what he says as it comes from his mouth and Jack laughs. It’s funny, but my chest tightens at the memory of Keira’s tearstained face in the guest bedroom. She was so broken, and I hate that in order to extract her from her situation, I had to hurt her even more. I hope when the Garrisons are in the ground, the dust will settle and we can focus on healing.
I want to lick her wounds for her, to kiss her forehead, tell her she never has to hurt again.
I wonder if she feels the same.
Does love mean the same for her as it does for me?
Part of me doesn’t care. So what if I love her most? I’ve always been cold until I find something that forces me to feel. And then I’m on fire, so intense I feel it course like blood through my veins.
When I saw the bare plot of land that would be Sovereign Mountain, I felt the future. I’d stand on this plot of earth until I die and am buried in it.
When I saw Keira, I knew she was the woman I’d sleep beside forever.
I don’t know how to live in shades of gray.
“What’s the plan?” Westin says.
“I’m going in after Thomas with Jack. I want you to go after Diane and make sure she doesn’t get caught in the crossfire. We’re here for the Garrison men only.”
“And do what with her?” Westin frowns, barely visible in the dark.
