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“Fuck,” he says hoarsely. “You’re so sweet.”
“I do love you,” I say quietly. “I really do. Please come back.”
“Just give me time, just tonight. And I swear, when it’s done, I’m all yours,” he says.
I nod, tears streaming down my cheeks and neck.
He pushes his hat low. “I love you, redbird.”
I pull back as their horses move past me and—damn it, I’m crying again. Big Dog and Small Dog circle my ankles, pacing. I feel Maddie’s arms slide around me and lay the blanket back over my shoulders. Through my wet lashes, I watch their shadows disappear into the dark yard. Hoofbeats fade into the distance. I know it’ll be the last night the Garrison brothers ever live through.
That doesn’t bother me the way it would have before tonight.
If I love him, I have to love every part of him.
And that includes his darkness and desire for justice no matter how bloody the consequences. If I want to love this complicated, scarred man and everything that came with him, I have to be able to accept his past.
Maddie pulls me into the house, the dogs at our heels, and locks the door. The wind shrieks over the mountain and I feel the sides of the house shudder. I hate that they’re out in the cold dark and I’m in here, safe and warm.
“Let’s get you something to eat,” she says.
She ushers me down the back hallway to the kitchen. The dogs are pasted to me, as if they sense my raging emotions. I wait in the doorway as she turns the lights on and starts taking things out of the cupboard. My head feels stuffy, and my eyes burn, so I lean my forehead against the cool wall. Maddie turns and her gaze narrows.
“You don’t look very good,” she says.
I shake my head. “I drank and now it's wearing off.”
She takes my elbow and tugs me to a chair in the corner, pushing me down and wrapping the blanket around my shoulders. I’m having trouble telling how much time is passing. It feels like half a second later when she puts a cup of warm peppermint tea in my hand and sets a plate of strudel on the table beside me.
“Eat that, it’s apple and cinnamon so it’ll help settle your stomach,” she orders.
Obediently, I push the fork into the flaky pastry and put a bite in my mouth. Warm butter and sweet apples melt on my tongue and my sickness ebbs as I eat until there’s just a smear of cinnamon on the white porcelain. When I look up, Maddie is watching me with a hint of sadness in her eyes.
“Let’s get you to bed,” she says.
I stand to put my plate in the sink. “Are you okay?”
She nods. “I worry about Sovereign.”
“Really?”
A slight smile crosses her lips. “Of course, I’ve worked with him since the beginning. When Sovereign Mountain was just a farmhouse and a stable.”
“What…was he like then?”
“He was the same,” she says, her tone soft. “He’s always been stubborn. His head is as hard as a brick. And getting on his bad side was always ill advised. But he’d die for the people in his circle.”
I swallow, brushing back my hair. “Was he always so…grim?”
Her eyes mist over. “No, but he’s always been the type to look life straight in the eyes and get on with it. Nothing stops him, or scares him. He doesn’t want much, but when he does…well, that’s how you got here.”
My neck is warm. I gather my hair, twisting it into a knot.
“I know it’s not my business, but did he bring other women here?”
Her brow crooks. “No. He hasn’t shared a room with anyone as long as I’ve known him. Now, I don’t think he was celibate, but he never had anyone the way he has you.”
Relief moves over me. I hate the thought of him with anyone else.
