AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Yes," Ava agrees. "Let's pay for the outfits. After lunch, we're shopping for shoes."
"Uh," I hold up a finger, "no."
"You need a pair of boots, Iz," Ava's eyes widen. "It's going to be cold next week. You can't be running around in high heels."
I hate it when she makes sense. "Fine."
Reluctantly, I pay for my two new work outfits. Ava's friend, a redhead with gorgeous curls, gives me the Friends and Family discount. 20% off. I try not to read too much into it as I hand my card over.
"Why is there a frown line between your eyes?" Ava nudges me with her hip once we're outside.
"She gave me a discount," I exhale heavily as Brianna skips ahead of us.
"And?"
"Do you know how many people are in the same position I am?" I ask her.
Ava shrugs. "A lot."
"They don't get the kind of help I'm getting."
"Yeah, so try to be a little more grateful," Ava states pointedly.
"I don't need any more handouts!" I say, exasperated.
"You have a really hard time accepting help," Ava shakes her head.
"I don't want people to make this easy on me," I slip on my sunglasses as the afternoon sun shines down on us. "I failed."
"My mom has made a career out of helping failures turn their lives around," Ava scoffs. "Everyone needs help. Everyone needs someone in their corner—especially when they fail. There are a lot of people in your position, but they'd be takingadvantage of every opportunity if they were you, too. I don't get why you're punishing yourself."
I scratch the back of my head, hating every word that leaves her mouth. Not because she's wrong, but because she's right. I am punishing myself.
"You wouldn't understand," I shrug her off.
"Try me."
"I made one bad decision when I was 18, and I'm paying for it. As I should."
"I swear, Iz," Ava curses under her breath, "if you're still punishing yourself for the whole Brady cheating on his fiancée thing, I'm going to scream."
"I am not punishing myself for that," I lick my lips.
"Then why?"
"You've always had your life together, even when it was falling apart. And I've always been...the black sheep. I don't fit in. I'm not sure if it's because I was adopted or because I literally do not think like the rest of you—"
"You arenotthe black sheep," Ava declares. "It's definitely Liam. He's the black sheep."
"Can you just let me get this out?" I furrow my brow.
"Yes," she pretends to zip her lips shut.
"With Brady, I felt like I fit in. I belonged with him. So no, I'm not punishing myself because I screwed up, and I hurtsomany people. I mean, I punished myself for a long time over that. Now, I'm just...I knew what it felt like to belong with someone, and I chose to marry someone I didn't belong with. I brought Brianna into a really shitty, messed-up situation. I don't regret a single choice because I have her now. I just..." I trail off.
"You hate that you didn't pick someone you could be yourself with," Ava somehow manages to figure out exactly what I'm saying.
"Yeah," I hitch a shoulder.
