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"Sis, you can't punish yourself for that."
"I can when Steve's trying to win me back, and I have zero interest in getting back together," I run a hand over my face. "He keeps texting me, and he sent me flowers at work. With a singing telegram lady or whatever they're called."
"Oh, Steve," Ava chuckles lowly. "He's always been a character."
"He's something alright."
"I don't get it," Ava turns to face me as I watch Brianna jump over a small rock on the sidewalk as if it's a boulder. "You and Steve were good when I left California. You were happy. You seemed so happy at your wedding, too. What happened to that version of Steve and Iz?"
"We were happy," I click my tongue. "Steve was funny and easy-going."
"But?"
"I don't know."
"Was it the sex?" Ava scrunches her nose.
I hold my arms out at my sides. "It was OK. But was it mind-numbing and earth-shattering like it was with Brady? No."
"Mind-numbing?" She waggles her eyebrows suggestively.
"Yes, it's why I was dumb and kept sleeping with him even when I knew it was wrong."
Ava laughs as she wraps an arm around my waist. "You're too much, Iz."
"I feel like I made a lot of bad decisions and I should feel the pain of making them," I admit.
"What if you stopped looking at it in terms of whatyoudeserve or don't deserve? What if you looked at your daughter right now and asked yourself what she deserves?"
I hate it when she's right.
"Ugh."
"Brianna deserves the best," Ava smiles. "She deserves a mom who has a steady job, a safe place to sleep, a reliable and trustworthy babysitter, and a 20% discount on her mom's work clothes at the Boutique on Main. Let her have that."
"You're right," I give in. "I'm just having an off day."
"Why?"
"Because Brady makes things complicated," I admit.
"Don't all men?" she jests.
"I'm struggling to draw the line between how much I loved him and how badly he hurt me. Things feel messy."
"He's your boss, Iz," Ava reminds me. "He's off limits. So, don't waste your time and energy thinking about him that way. It won't change anything."
I swallow hard.
That's the problem with Brady.
He's always off limits, but he's the only place I've ever felt I truly belonged.
Chapter 15
"What do you mean you'rehere?" I groan as Brady sets a stack of folders on my desk.
"I'm in Denver," Steve yells into the phone.
