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“You don’t seem like yourself,” Hugo said when we got back to my cabin. We’d brought Lars back with us. Hannah had fallen asleep on the ride back to The Village. He’d carried her into the bedroom, and we hadn’t seen either of them since.
“I’m disappointed.” I hated admitting defeat out loud.
He came up behind me, heat radiating from his body. I loved the way he smelled after a shift. Like the forest just after the rain. His strong hands were on my shoulders, and he went to work on my tense muscles.
“You did good work today. No one could’ve prepared for what we encountered. Even with the intel we had, it’s hard to wrap my head around how bad it actually was.” He chuckled sadly.
“What if we didn’t get there in time and Calista is dead? I can barely stomach the thought.”
Hugo’s hands stopped. Calista would always be a touchy subject between us.
“Ever since I became Bibi, everything I’ve touched has turned to gold. Maybe this is a sign that I was right to start this new life.”
“Of course you were.” Hugo took his hands off my shoulders. He went into the refrigerator and grabbed two beers, opened them both, and put one of them in front of me. No surprise he took a long sip of his own before continuing. “You would’ve been absolutely miserable if you’d stayed with your pack, being someone you aren’t, for her. So I have to ask, what will you do when you find her?”
I appreciated his optimism, but didn’t miss the subtext. “I’m heartbroken, that’s all. As a fairy dragmother, I believe I can make everyone’s lives better. But this is just reinforcing that I can’t have one foot in the past if I expect to go forward. I’ve got to move on, and make peace with the way I left things with Calista and the pack.”
Hugo nodded and took another sip. He put the bottle down, moving it between his hands. “I’m sure you’re feeling it even more because of what happened with Lars today.”
I nodded. “I can’t imagine how he’s feeling, losing his family all over again.”
“I think you can.”
“Yeah.” Now it was my turn to take in the benefits of the beer. “It’s proof that we can’t go back to the way things were. He was so brave today. We have to be his family now.”
“You’re brave too.” Hugo leaned forward. His eyes met mine, and my heart skipped a beat. “What do you want the future to look like, Bibi?”
“Blissfully peaceful. I’m so tired of the fighting. I hopeThe Mating Gamelasts for many seasons, with some possible offshoots to spice things up.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean what do you wantyourfuture to look like? More specifically, what do you wantourfuture to look like?”
“I want my future to have you in it.”
“Good. Because I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted for my future if we made it out of that cavern alive today. And I want to be a lot more involved in your life, Bibi.” He closed his hand over mine. “Once this episode is done, we both deserve a getaway, where we don’t have to think about the show or changing anyone’s lives but our own.”
“I’d like that.” After my pack had rejected me as Bibi, I’d been so afraid to give my heart to anyone. It was still healing, still fragile. But Hugo had been so patient with me. So gentle. It was time to trust this wolf and let him show me how my future could be so different from my past. “I do believe you might still owe me a trip to Vegas.”
He raised a brow. “I owe you? I think you’re the one who decided to postpone when Lars didn’t shift. You owe me.”
“I like a competitive wolf.” I smiled at him before taking another sip of my beer. I had to be careful before the alcohol went straight to my tired brain.
Or maybe I should stop worrying and start feeling.
“Before we go anywhere, we have to get Hannah and Lars back on that stage. But first, we need to find Armand and make sure—”
“You’re doing it again.” Hugo squeezed my hand. “Putting everyone before yourself. I think we should have a date night before the end of this episode.”
The thought of it scared the hell out of me. “Deal.”
thirty-five
Lars
“It’s not safe.” Bibi threw her hands up in the air.
She was in her purple silk pajamas, drinking her green tea. Hannah was still sleeping. She’d hardly stirred all night, and I couldn’t sleep, even with her nestled beside me. Every time I closed my eyes, I dreamed of Tanyth. Not as the beautiful, vibrant woman she had been, but as the frail, half-alive version I’d held as she’d gone back to the earth for a second time. As extra punishment, once she faded away from me, Hannah took her place in the same unalive condition.
I couldn’t save either of them.
