Page 99 of Fumbled Past


Font Size:  

I can’t.

For some reason, my mind can’t even go there, yet I can’t bring myself to decline their offer either.

Knowing Aaron will be there is just as much of a relief as it is a deterrent, especially if Beau and I try to stay together.

These past few months have been great, living with Aaron. Our friendship is fully back, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about what it felt like to be in his arms. When those thoughts emerge, I instantly shut them down and remove myself from the situation.

It’s not fair to Beau that my mind even thinks of drifting there, but if I see Aaron every day and I don’t see Beau ever, I can see how something between us might eventually happen.

No matter how much I try to fight it, I know I have feelings for both of them. I’ve finally come to accept this. As long as I don’t act on my feelings for Aaron, I can keep them locked away because I honestly do love Beau, and I want to be with Beau.

The easiest thing would be for Beau to go to Tennessee, and then we would both stay here. Aaron would be in Texas, and I know my feelings would fade over time without him.

I wish so badly that Beau would just stay here, but I would never ask him to give up his dream of going to Cal for me.

Cal Berkeley football is in his blood, and I want that for him.

It just sucks for us.

There’s a knock on my door.

“Are you up, sweetie?” Debbie says from the other side.

I slide out of bed. “Yep, I’m up.”

I open my door and get a big hug from her. “I can’t believe you guys are graduating. My, how the time has flown. I still remember the first day we moved in, and you came running out of your house to see if we had any kids for you to play with.”

I chuckle at the memory. “Yeah, and I was so mad you had a boy.”

She laughs with me. “That you were. And now, look at you two.” She tucks my bedhead hair behind my ear. “I’m still sorry you guys didn’t work out as a couple, but I guess you were always meant to be best friends.”

I close my eyes briefly as I nod. “I’m just glad we were able to get back to that.”

“Me too.” She smiles sweetly. “I’ll get breakfast on the table. Let’s plan on leaving here in an hour.”

I agree and head to the shower to get ready for my final time being at my dad’s stadium as a Mac High student.

After we have breakfast, I head back to my room to put the final touches on my look and get my cap secured to my head when I hear a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I announce.

When I turn, I see Aaron standing in my doorway with his cap and gown on and a huge grin on his face. “Look at us.”

I laugh. “Right? How did we get here?”

He steps in my room and shuts the door behind me. “Can we talk real quick?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

I’m thinking he’s going to talk about how he’s sorry my dad’s not here or what plans we have for tonight, but never in a million years would I have expected him to say, “I want you back.”

It comes out so rushed and bluntly spoken that I stand frozen where I am, not sure what to say.

When I don’t respond, he steps closer and continues, “I know you’re with Beau. I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you. I always have.” He grabs my hand, and I let him, still in shock by what he’s saying. “I know he’s going to Cal. The fact that you haven’t made up your mind to go with him even though you got into Cal, too, proves to me that you don’t love him as much as you think you do.”

I gasp an inhale. “How did you …” The only person I told that I got into Cal was Debbie. “Did she …” I can’t even form the words I’m trying to ask. I’m so taken aback by what he’s saying.

“She didn’t have to. I saw a letter come in the mail the other day. The only reason you would get mail from Cal is if you got in. So, I ask you, why haven’t you decided to go with him?”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com