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Schwarb talked about his wife, and then noticed a stuffed fish on the mayor’s wall and the two of them began to converse easily about the best places to fish. Schwarb’s earnest face looked pink and squeaky clean, and I began to feel a spark of hope. Then the mayor asked Deiondre about his research. He seemed impressed, and my heart leaped with joy when he asked Deiondre if he’d be interested in doing some consulting work with the city.
Then I took a turn and asked the mayor about his wife and listened attentively to the answers. We even nodded nicely along as the mayor spent 10 minutes telling us about the home renovation project they were undertaking.
See, we were just like normal folks. Whatever had happened must not have been too bad.We were going to get through this.
I thought we might get away with whatever it was. But then the mayor brought out the video projector and the hope began to flee my body, to be replaced with a sinking feeling in my stomach.
“This,” the mayor said disapprovingly, “is a video I was sent by a disgruntled constituent.”
He pushed play and I saw Je Sweet, in a neon green bodysuit, dancing in front of the crowd. Fuck, she might be a pain in the ass, but boy could she dance. I watched her move through the set. I had been to several of the evening shows by now, so I recognized the set. Sweet ran her hands over her body, then dipped down to her knees, spreading her legs wide in those tall black boots. OK, this was all part of the set. At first I had the false hope that perhaps nothing unusual had happened. Maybe the concerned citizen was just a prude.
Then I saw Je Sweet strut over to one of the patrons, a gym-bro looking guy with juiced muscles. She began grinding up on him and I saw his very gym bro mouth going “wooooooo” as he raised his drink in the air. OK, not too bad so far. Nothing we couldn’t talk our way out of. Then she turned around and bent down in front of him. The video wasn’t the greatest, as I presumed it was shaking with indignation, but I was pretttttyyy sure Je Sweet was taking the guy’s dick out and sucking it as the crowd cheered. I saw the guy’s head fall back with pleasure. Then Sweet stood up and walked away, looking back over her shoulder with a saucy grin.
The video cut out.
The mayor turned to look at me.
“So sorry, bad quality video, I can’t really see what was happening,” I lied.
“I could see enough,” said the mayor, and he brought his eyebrows together in a frown.
“These late night drag shows are for adult audiences only,” I tried. “That patron was clearly enjoying himself. Luckily it was all entirely consensual activity.”
This did not sway the mayor either.
He said, “I do not mind drag shows, Miss Carew. But this display of public lewdness goes far beyond that. I would be within my rights as a mayor to shut you down today.”
I heard Deiondre’s stifled intake of breath beside me, and my heart started beating faster. “This was one mistake, mayor. I can promise you it will never happen again. You know how these artistic types are. Spontaneous and passionate. All I have to do is remind Je Sweet that she should behave more appropriately.”
Which of course wasa horrific goddamn lie, but it was all I could think of at the moment.
He said nothing, and I pressed my advantage. “Now youknowthe Heavenly Lights Club is one of the biggest attractions in the city! You don’t want to shut us down. What if we were to do a family-friendly Drag Brunch for charity? A cause you might be interested in, perhaps . . .?”
The mayor hesitated again, and I felt Schwarb and Deiondre waiting tensely beside me.
“If you can promise this will never happen again,” he said, and, lying through my teeth, I said I could.
On the way out, the mayor cleared his throat.
“Will Je Sweet be there?” he asked. “She’s my wife’s favorite.”
“Certainly,” I said, and out we went.
“Why didn’t youtellme it was Je Sweet sucking a dick,” I said irritably once we were back in the car. “I would’ve liked some warning.”
“Um, we are all too terrified of Je Sweet,” said Deiondre, as Schwarb nodded in agreement. “And Beau. They are both unpredictable with a temper problem.”
I huffed in annoyance. “I assume Je Sweet did this to get back at me?” I asked.
Schwarb nodded. “For sure.”
I decidedto not even confront Beau about it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I was not going to give him what he wanted by going into the dressing room and begging him not to suck dicks in the middle of the performances.
I went to my office and began to plan the Drag Brunch for the Benefit of Small Farmers. Personally, I wondered if the Small Farmers were going to appreciate the Jane Austen theme of this Drag Brunch, but I didn’t particularly care as long as the mayor didn’t shut us down.
I was biting my pencil and wondering if I could get the queens to dress up in cowgirl outfits after the brunch, knowing that they would consider any of my input on fashion to rank about at the level of a worm, when the door opened and Beau walked in.
“Knock next time!” I said irritably. “We are not on ‘just walk in’ terms of friendship.”
