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He released a hard sigh. “I don’t know.”
She nudged his shoulder. “Interested in a job at the White House?”
He laughed, then groaned in pain. “Me, in a suit and tie? Not damn likely. You know I would kick someone’s ass. I can’t stand politics.”
“You’d be good at it.”
“No, thank you.” His throat got tight. “I love you. You know that.”
She squeezed his hand, her eyes dark with emotions. “I love you, too. If it wasn’t for Preacher…”
“Yeah, yeah. The man of your dreams.” She leaned down and he cupped her face. “I tell you what. I’m honored to come in second.”
She brushed at his hair. “You have something to resolve. She’s in France.”
He looked away. Bridgette. There wasn’t a day that didn’t go by when he didn’t think of her, remembering their last night together. He’d never spoken to her again, and he thought that was for the best. He was torn up and still unsure about his feelings for her, tangled up in his heart and mixed up with his former love, CIA Shadowguard, and his former partner, Papillon. Brigette was her doppelgänger. “I’m not sure that will ever be resolved.”
She didn’t say anything for the longest time, then she said, “That’s up to you.”
He blinked, desperately wanting to change the subject. “I’m so very glad you’re safe.”
“Thank you, Axel, for coming for me. I’m sorry you were injured.”
“Yeah, you had it covered. Whip them into shape at the White House.”
“I will.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be back when you’re ready to get moved to DC.”
Volk swallowed hard as she disappeared out of the room, his jaw clenched tight against the sudden ache in his throat. Karasu was right. It was up to him. Bridgette didn’t have any way of getting in touch with him. He either had to decide whether to contact her again and at the very least give her some closure or decide to close down his heart against her and live with his ghosts.
* * *
Once Kodiak checkedon his friends, he ordered a car for Kaiya to the airport. He waited outside with her, his team preparing to leave for Virginia Beach the next day. It was at that instant that it hit her. This was it. This was all the time she had left with him. In a matter of hours, she would be home, without him there.
Feeling hollow inside, realizing that their goodbye was here, she frantically tried to think of a way to extend these moments, a burst of dread spiraling up inside her. She didn’t want to do this. But she had to get back and get ready to go to the Netherlands to start her temporary assignment.
Her heart fluttering wildly in her throat, she stared at him, her stomach rolling over. How was she going to get through this? How was he?
Smiling into her eyes, he reached over and grabbed her braid, drawing her toward him. As soon as she was within reach, he caught her around the waist and pulled her against him. Trapping her in his arms, he sighed, then wrapped her in a companionable embrace. “I guess this is goodbye, Kaiya.”
Closing her eyes against the sudden burst of pain, she slid her arms around his neck and held on to him, the sense of loss so intense that it made her shudder. It scared her to death, knowing she might never see him again.
As if seeing the change in her, Kodiak caught her by the back of the head and tightened his hold, his embrace suddenly rife with tension. “I’m going to miss you like hell, Kaiya,” he said, his voice husky and uneven. “I don't know how we would have accomplished what we did against NSH without you, your contacts, and the AFP. We’re extremely grateful.”
Her jaw locked against the ache in her throat, she tightened her arms, trying to will away the awful fullness burning in her eyes. She didn’t dare think about her last joining with him, and she didn’t want to think of what was ahead for her. She would never get through everything she had to do if she did. Easing in a deep breath, she turned her face against his neck trying to absorb as much of his warmth and strength as she could. Enough to get her through this. Enough to hold her together.
Kodiak released a heavy sigh and smoothed his hand up her back, then turned his head and kissed her forehead. “Don’t, Kaiya,” he whispered gruffly.
Knowing what he was asking, she swallowed hard and gave him a little nudge. “The next time you’re in Sydney, I’m going to make you something with vegemite.”
“Like hell you are,” he chuckled.
Reaching down deep for a smile, she raised her head and looked at him, gazing into his eyes. She gave him a dry, steady look. “Oh, yes, and you will love it.”
His gaze warm and intimate, he stared at her, his eyes alive with delight. Then something flickered in them, and he looked away, his expression suddenly strained.
It was too soon. Too soon. She wasn’t prepared to say goodbye. The panic climbed up her throat.
She heard the car pull up, the squeal of the brakes, and realized her time with him had run out.
