Page 83 of Filthy Boy


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I unlock the door and step out of the bathroom to find Brody sitting beside the wall.

“What’s wrong, Wildflower?” he says, putting his hand out to me.

“Oh, nothing.” I smile, shaking my head. “I’m just tired. And bummed that I can’t come with you on your trip.” The tears won’t stop flowing, though I silently beg for them to. “Ignore me. I’m being nutty.”

“Baby,” he says softly, looking confused, “don’t cry.”

Wiping my cheeks, I make a weak attempt to laugh. “I’m going to go make sure your bag is properly packed. You know how bad you suck at remembering stuff to bring on trips.”

He eyes me over cautiously, and I know he doesn’t buy a lick of what I’m saying. Today is a huge day for him. I’m not about to ruin it by telling him that something he never wanted to happen has happened.

That I’m pregnant with his baby.

Walking into the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water and press it to my cheek before heading into his room. Thankful that no one else is home right now.

My heart races, and my brain has countless thoughts rushing through, but I can’t focus on a single one. Taking some deep breaths, I give myself a silent pep talk that I need to get my act together and convince my boyfriend that everything is fine. Otherwise, he’ll cancel his flight and spend the entire afternoon making me promise that we are okay. And we are. Well, we were.

“Does this have anything to do with why you’re so worked up?” he mutters, walking toward me.

In his hand, he holds the pregnancy test, and right then, I know I shouldn’t have just left it in plain sight, but I didn’t assume he’d go in there before he had to leave. My heart stops at the sight of it.

This is an exciting day for him. Instead of him driving the six-plus hours to Tampa, the Tampa Bay Lightning offered to fly him down on a private plane to check out their facilities and sign the paperwork needed for him to formally join the team. Now, here I am, screwing up his entire day.

Rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand, I sob. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your day. I know this is supposed to be one of the best days of your life.”

I can’t look at him because I’m afraid of what I might see in his eyes.

“How did this happen?” he says, almost like he’s thinking out loud. “You have the IUD. Don’t you?”

“I don’t know!” I cry. “I had my old one taken out a few months ago because it was time for a new one. The new one went in fine. At least, that’s what the doctor told me.” When I finally dare my eyes to look at his, I take a few steps toward him, grabbing his wrist. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Brody.”

His eyes don’t look at me, but instead stare forward as he stumbles back, tossing the test on the bed. “I…I have to go. I’m, uh…I’m going to be late.” Stepping back, he turns before grabbing his duffel bag, keeping his back to me. “We’ll talk about this when I get back. I just…I can’t do this right now, Bria.”

I want to chase him. I want to dart in front of him and tell him to suck it up because it takes two to tango and this isn’t just my fault. I want to…but I don’t.

And maybe that’s because through the shock, I felt the tiniest bit of excitement when I saw those two pink lines. And when I saw his face as he walked toward me, I knew he clearly didn’t feel the same way. He was all shock and no excitement.

I sit on the bed for a few minutes, staring down at that same test. I might have never thought about marriage or babies much before. But then Brody happened. And little by little, I guess I also became that girl who wants what every other girl wants. The whole shebang that goes along with happily ever after. I just never worked up the nerve to ask him if he felt the same.

Is this how I would have had it happen? Hell no. I would have waited. I would have waited years. But the universe has another plan. And I’m not going to question why.

Wiping my eyes with my sleeve, I walk into the kitchen and lean against the counter, squeezing my eyes shut. The panic in my gut kicks up again, out of fear of losing Brody over this.

“It’s going to be okay,” I whisper to myself, trying to calm my heart down. “It’s going to be okay.”

“It is going to be okay.” Brody’s voice comes from behind me before his arms wrap around my waist and he spins me around to face him.

Cupping my cheeks, he looks me in my eyes, and there’s no mistaking the panic in his. “I’m sorry that I left. I guess I just freaked out. Because, well…the thought of fathering a fucking human being is terrifying. And honestly, nothing about it sounds normal. Because I’m me, Wildflower. And I don’t think I’d be any good at it.” His mouth turns up at the sides the smallest bit. “But this baby would be ours, Bria. Mine and yours. Something we made together.” His eyes gloss over. “And somehow, that makes it a little less scary.”

I cry harder, pressing my forehead to his. “You’re not mad?”

“No, baby, I’m not mad. I’m not going to tell you I’m not nervous because I’d be lying. And we don’t lie to each other.” He pauses. “Well, other than a bit ago when you were in the bathroom, crying, and you told me you were just sad you couldn’t come to Florida. But I knew you were full of shit. I knew it was something bigger.” Slowly, his hand falls to my stomach. “And it is. Something much, much bigger.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it either,” I say, tears streaming down my face. “The whole mother thing.”

“You’ll be great.” He nods. “And, shit, with the way we were brought up, at least we’ll know what not to do, right?” He shrugs. “That’s gotta count for something.”

I giggle against him. He always knows what to say to make everything better.

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