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“Right.”
Bringing our lips together, he presses his mouth to mine before pulling away the tiniest bit. “It’s all going to be okay. I never wanted kids. Never wanted a relationship either, yet here we are.” He inhales. “You are the only person who could ever make me change my mind about this. Because you’re family, Bria. And now, our family is going to be even bigger.” He kisses me again, this time on the cheek. “Just be patient with me, okay? I don’t know shit about babies. But I promise you, I’ll learn, and I’ll get better. And I definitely won’t drop the baby on its head or anything like that. I’ll be super careful. I’ll treat this baby like it’s a fucking ice sculpture.”
“I don’t know if you need to be that careful.” I crinkle my nose up. “But…okay.”
There’re so many things to discuss. My future career. Life for him in the NHL. Our living situation. So many details that will need to be worked out in order to bring this baby into our world as serenely as possible. And everything is hitting me at once.
Reading my mind, he rubs the pad of his thumb along my cheek. “I have to go, baby. I wish you could come with me, but I know you can’t miss your final. But I’ll be back in a few days, and we can figure everything out, okay?”
“Thank you for being you.” I throw my arms around him, burying my face into his shirt and taking a whiff of his delicious scent. “I love you so much.”
Holding me closely, he tilts his head down. “I love you. And I will love this baby too.” I feel his heart beating against my ear as his voice vibrates against my body. “No, I take that back. I do love this baby.”
I finally release him, giving him one more kiss good-bye before he walks out the door and heads to Florida.
I squeeze my eyes shut, and I imagine my dad’s smile. Because something tells me that he sent me a gift. Someone especially made for me. To help me find my way back to happiness. An angel in disguise with tattoos and scars on his knuckles.
My angel is named Brody. And I think my life began the minute he came into it.
28
Bria
Five Months Later
Iclick the button on my camera, my heart stopping with every hit of the puck. I’m not only here at this game for my boyfriend; I’m also the team photographer for the Tampa Bay Lightning. Which makes close games like this that much more stressful to watch. On one hand, I want to get every shot I can. On the other, I also want to cheer Brody on, which isn’t an easy task when my literal job is to photograph the game.
A time-out comes at the perfect time because the baby kicks so hard that I wince. And when I look at the ice, I find Brody watching me. We might not be able to hear each other, but I already know what he’s thinking by the look in his eyes, and I smile.
I’m fine, I mouth, pointing to my belly before moving two fingers to signal a kicking movement.
Slowly, he grins, understanding what I’m saying and realizing I’m alright, but that our baby likes to beat the shit out of my stomach. And every other part of my body he or she can reach.
Last game, I swear they actually had a foot inside my rib cage and were twisting it. It was the grossest feeling. But it also almost seemed like they were telling me they were there at the game too. Cheering their daddy on. It’s probably crazy to think that way, seeing as it’s a fetus floating around in my uterus, unaware of its surroundings. But it’s a magical feeling, knowing this baby is present for all of these big moments in their daddy’s career.
When the GM offered me this position, I was elated. But I was also afraid to tell them I was pregnant because we had just found out a week prior and hadn’t yet told anyone. I figured once they knew that I’d be having a baby right smack dab in the season, they’d want to hire someone more reliable. But once I hit twelve weeks and my baby bump became harder to hide, I knew I needed to tell them. I was pleasantly surprised when they chose to stick with me anyway. They even let me choose my temporary replacement for my maternity leave.
Photographing athletes has become something that feels like it’s been in my blood all along. I get a high from the shots, almost like I’m on the ice right with them. And I get to take pictures of my deliciously hot boyfriend for a living. And let’s be honest. The others aren’t bad to look at either. And they’ve all treated me like family.
The puck goes into play, and I get back to work. Sad on one hand that, in just a few months, I’ll have to take a break from this. But on the other hand, I’m excited for the new chapter in my life as a mom. Though I can’t lie; I’m terrified. And when I go on rants and travel down a rabbit hole of convincing myself I’ll be a failure at it, it’s Brody who talks me down. Which is crazy because he was the one who was scared in the beginning. Yet, somehow, we’ve reversed roles.
I know two things to be true for this baby though. One, he or she will be loved beyond measure. And, two, Brody and I will always make sure that they never have to feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. I’ll carry that burden because I know what it’s like and I’d never wish that for my unborn child.
A few minutes later, they win their game. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brody smile so hard because the team they just beat was the Bruins. And if anyone has a rivalry going, it’s Cam and Brody.
I see the two of them skate toward each other, and even though Cam’s team just lost, he grins as he throws his arm around Brody. And my heart swells because I’m thankful for so much when it comes to this sport. But one of the biggest things I’m grateful for is the brothers Brody has made along the way. Because they’ve become his family.
Not only did Brody chase his dream and make it to the NHL, but he also started his own charity. One that goes toward children who don’t have the opportunity to play sports because their families can’t afford it. And the best part? To start it, he used the money his grandmother had left him as well as the money made from selling her house. A part of him felt bad about letting go of her home, but for his own mental and emotional health, he decided he needed to cut all ties with his father. And deep down, he knew that she’d be happy that the money was going toward such a wonderful cause.
I know his grandmother is looking down, smiling at what an incredible human Brody has become. Despite the hardships, he’s breaking a cycle and leaving his mark on this earth. And I couldn’t be any prouder to call him my man.
29
Bria
Two Months Later
Ilook at myself in the full-length mirror, groaning again. “I’m so fat,” I whisper to myself, resting my hand on my belly. “Like a beached whale.”
