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“About what? Because I told you to get off the field? I didn't lie to you. I was very honest about what I wanted you to do. Or maybe because you think I have been working you over with Richard? Sorry, baby, I wasn't doing that either. So, tell me when I lied.”
“What is the end game for you, Levi? Tell me the truth! You want to control me? Blackmail me? Have my career in the palm of your hands?”
I couldn't listen to that bullshit. She knew better than that. I pushed from the ropes and got in her face in the center of the ring, taking my gloved hand and shoving her enough to make her rock on her feet. “You know damn well that was never what this was about. You saw the shock on my face when I saw you on that field. None of this was my doing.”
“I don’t know what to believe.”
“Yes, you do, but you need something to ease your guilty conscience for not being honest with me.”
“That's not fair,” she shouted, shoving me the way I had her. “Do you not realize the mind fuck I have been in since I landed this fucking job? Richard in my ear telling me he’s watching me and implying that he owns me. You fucking me hard enough to make me forget about it all. Not to mention the other shit I deal with…”
“You’ve been a participant in the fucking, Charleigh. That wasn't just me. We both know there hasn't been a damn thing we could do to stop that train. It left the station in New York, and we never stood a chance after that.”
“And as true as that is, Levi… I still never knew what to trust.” Her face was red, and she had backed into her own corner of the ring, trying to stave off emotions as we continued to yell at one another.
“Come hit me,” I demanded. “Come fucking hit me. I gave you those gloves for a reason.”
She shook her head, denying herself even though I knew she wanted to let it all out. We were a lot alike in that regard. The force and power of throwing our fists helped us let the tension out.
“Get over here now!” I yelled. “You hit me, and I will tell you what you don't know yet.”
That offer got her charging back to the middle of the ring, her right fist reared back and coming toward my stomach. I let her land the punch, feeling the sting from her strength even though she was far too small to ever actually hurt me.
“Richard was in New York with me.” She was huffing from the exertion of her punch but listening with her eyes wide. “After we agreed to be a host to a new female referee, Richard cornered me and told me that this was our chance to own you–or whoever was hired.”
She started shaking her head, her face getting redder from anger, so I pushed on before she combusted. “I never agreed. I told him I had enough on my plate and extortion wasn’t on my list of things I cared to stress over. I was angry and almost quit my job and sold him out to the league before I ever left New York.” I started pacing, angry at myself for not doing just that. “But that night, as I mulled over a glass of whiskey about how money hungry Richard had gotten, and how I would most likely lose my job if we didn’t win another Super Bowl, I looked up from my drink and saw you.”
I turned back to her and shoved her again, catching her off guard but knowing I didn’t hurt her. “You!” I yelled. “I lost track of my anger at Richard and dove into my immediate connection with you. I let my dick run the night and instead of doing what I should have been doing, I was fucking a stranger in my hotel room all night. By the time I woke up, and you were gone, I had to catch my flight and all thoughts of talking to Art were out the door.”
“So, it's my fault?” She yelled, and even though it wasn't, I raised my brows and let her think it was. “You’re an idiot.”
“I got back to work, and Richard laid off the idea until the week before that first game, when he told me the new referee was about to learn how ‘little girls’ didn't belong in the NFL.”
She punched me again, and I welcomed it. “I belong there. I know just as much about the game as you do. I have worked my ass off to be there and I deserve better than to be thought of as a little fucking girl.”
“I agree,” I huffed as I let her get in another punch to my gut. “But I was in a fight for my career and even though I wasn't going along with whatever Richard had planned, I was lost inside my head being a coach and not being your babysitter.”
“But you did go along with it!” Her yells were echoing off the walls of the gym. “You told me every chance you got to leave.”
“Richard didn't want you to leave, he wanted to extort you and control you. I wanted you to leave to save you from the chauvinistic and dirty side of the game. I wanted you to leave because you deserved better, and if you left, Richard wouldn't win. He is one of the richest and most powerful men in the country, trust me, you quitting was the only way he was going to lose.”
“But you never told me that…” she seethed. “A lie by omission is still a lie.”
“All I have wanted to do, from the moment you turned around on that field and looked me in the eye, was to protect you. I wanted you as far away from the corruption as possible and I still want that. I don't regret what I have done and said to you, and until you are safe from the snakes and leeches, I will continue to be your biggest pain in the ass.”
“Why can't you just be my biggest supporter?”
“Trust me. You won't win against Richard. I won't win against Richard. I have seen him bury more shit than I care to admit. So, I am supporting you, the only way I know how. But you also have to remember that I owe everything to my team. I vowed to be their coach, to guide them, and help them. Some of those guys, like Tyson Black, don’t have anyone else in their corner but me. I know all too well what that feels like, and I had to make sure I could continue being there for them. I’m not sure Ty would have made it through the past few weeks if I had been fired or quit.”
Understanding was seeping into her eyes. The fight was leaving her as I watched her shoulders slump and her head dip down. She knew how important those guys were to me, and she knew I was trying my damndest to be everything to everyone. She took a few deep breaths and then looked back up at me. “What about everything else?”
“What else is there?”
“Us...” she flinched at her words, like they somehow made her feel desperate and weak. But to me, they only made me want her more.
“Everything between us was just us… it still is. I was never a part of any ruse to bring you down. I just couldn’t help but want you.”
She kept her eyes on me and I watched as they glassed up from unshed tears. Then without another word, she turned and started to leave the ring.
