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This baby is coming, whether we like it or not.
I sit on the edge of the tub and stare down at the pregnancy test, my phone burning a hole in my pocket. Yes...yes, I should call him. I should really call him because we have to deal with this, even if I don't want to keep the baby...
...I stop myself short.
I want to keep my baby.
Since I started this reckless course of action, I've known what I wanted: to have a baby with Ryan Wright. I guess I always figured he wanted that, too, until last night. I believed that if I kept talking to him about having children, he would finally be convinced if having a baby happened.
I pick up the phone and stare at the screen. Then I quickly dial. I pull my phone up to my ear and wiggle my knee as the phone rings, my heart hammering and my stomach roiling.
Fuck...of course, I'm nauseous.
I have morning sickness.
"Hello?" Bryn's voice picks up.
I sigh. "Thank god, you answered. I need you to come over."
"Sophia?" she says. "What's going on? Are you okay?"
"Not really," I murmur. "I'm...I'm pregnant, Bryn."
There's a pause on the other end of the line, and I can practically see Bryn's face scrunch up in confusion. "What? How?"
"Well, Bryn, when two people love each other very, very much..."
"I don't need the birds and the bees talk, asshole," Bryn says with a wry laugh. "It's Ryan's?"
I nod, even though she can't see me. "Yes. He doesn't know yet, but... I just took the test. It's positive."
Bryn lets out a sharp breath. "Wow. Okay. Do you want me to come over right now?"
I hesitate, then nod again. "Yes. Please."
"Okay. I'll be there in twenty minutes. Just try to... I don't know, relax or something."
I laugh bitterly. "Relax. Right. Thanks, Bryn."
I hang up the phone and set it down on the sink; then I putter over to the kitchen to put a pot on to boil. My mind is racing.
I'm going to have a baby.
I'm really, truly going to have a baby.
Time is doing this weird thing where it moves both too slow and too fast all at once, and Bryn is knocking on my door in what feels like seconds. I rush over with a cup of chamomile tea in my hand, spilling on myself as I go, and I hiss out a breath at the scalding heat.
Bryn looks from my face to my hand, her eyes widening. "Oh my god—Sophia, what did you do?"
"I was just trying to make tea to relax and made a mess of myself," I mutter. "I'm fine, just...come on in. Do you want a cup?"
"Sit down, and I'll make myself one," Bryn says. "Jeez, Sophia—take a load off, okay?"
"I'm seriously fine," I say. "And don't tell me to sit down because I don't want to. I'm nervous enough as it is."
Bryn rolls her eyes. "Fine, fine. Let's get down to business, then. What's going on with Ryan?"
I shake my head, tears starting to pool in my eyes. "I don't know, Bryn. I don't know if he wants this baby or not. He was so unsure the other night when we talked about having children."
