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"I mean...this is moving really fast," she says. "I didn't think you were even considering a baby."
"I wasn't," I say. "But we kept having unprotected sex, and then I just kind of...gave up on trying not to. And he's always talked about how much he wanted a family."
She scowls. "Did he pressure you into it?"
"Not at all," I say. "I'm just...god, I've never been impulsive like this, you know? I can't believe I let this happen."
"And he was an asshole about it?"
"He was surprised," I shrug. "I guess...understandably."
"Can you, like...help me understand what happened here?" she asks. "I'm not sure if I get it."
So that's exactly what I do.
We sit on the couch with our tea, and after weeks of keeping things under wraps, I tell my best friend everything that's happened with Ryan. I tell her about our first time, meeting his ex, Amanda, and visiting his parents. Shit gets complicated when I get to the part where he pivoted to not wanting kids, and Bryn's face scrunches up.
"It seems like he was pretty gung-ho about everything before the other night," she says. "Do you have any idea what happened?"
I sigh. "I think it's his dad," I tell her. "He's worried that he's going to end up just like him—too early, I guess. But I think the thing that bothers me is like...I would kill to have just one day with parents who loved me like I know Ryan could. I don't know why he doesn't see that and why he doesn't want..."
I trail off, covering my face with my hands, and Bryn rubs my back.
Bryn's face softens. "Well, you know what? It doesn't matter what he wants. This is your body, your decision. Do you want to keep this baby?"
I take a deep breath and nod. "Yes. I do. I always have."
"Then that settles it," Bryn says firmly. "You need to tell Ryan that you're pregnant and that you're keeping the baby. And if he's not on board with that, then tough shit."
I laugh despite myself. "Tough shit. I like that."
Bryn grins. "Glad I could help. So, when are you going to tell him?"
I stare at my phone and bite my lip. "Tonight. Or tomorrow morning. I want to be calm and collected when I finally have that talk with him."
Bryn nods, and we sit in silence for a few minutes. "So...do you want me to call anyone else? Get the extra support?"
I meet her eyes. "Like who?"
"Madison, Kylie...I mean, Kylie knows a thing or two about this stuff," Bryn says. "She's way better equipped to talk to you about this whole baby thing."
I sniffle. "You don't think they'll judge me?"
Bryn snorts. "Not at all. I'm calling them. And I'm ordering food. Have you eaten?"
I shake my head. I haven't eaten in days, I don't think.
"Well, let me get that covered since you're eating for two now," she says. "You stay put, and let's get some friends and food figured out...then a movie picked out. We're treating you tonight."
I can't help but smile at Bryn's words. She's always been there for me, no matter what. And I know she's right—I need to take care of myself and this baby.
"Thank you," I say, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "For everything."
Bryn squeezes my hand. "Always. Now, let's get this baby party started."
As she pulls out her phone to call our friends and order food, I take a deep breath and try to push my nerves aside. Raising a baby on my own won't be easy, but I know I need to tell Ryan about the baby and my decision to keep it. Whatever his reaction may be, I can't let his reaction sway me.
I need to be strong for myself and this little life growing inside me. And who knows? Maybe once Ryan sees how excited I am about becoming a mother, he'll come around to the idea, too.
