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I take another sip of my tea and let the warmth seep into my bones, feeling comforted by the knowledge that I have Bryn and my friends here to support me. And with their help, I know I can handle whatever comes next.
Chapter twenty-eight
Ryan
I've always been a man of few words. It's how I was raised—to be stoic, level-headed, the man of the family. That makes what I have to do a hell of a lot harder.
I have to apologize to Sophia. I have to tell her how I feel...and make it clear that I'm done being a coward, and that I want to make this work.
I sit down late at night, a week after she left my apartment with a pen and paper, and Tex grumbles at my feet as he looks up at me. It feels like he's just as anxious—if not more—to get her home. Like he's staring up at me saying: Come on, get her back. I want my person.
So, that's how I start the letter.
Dear Sophia,
Tex really misses his person.
No... that’s not right. I don't know if she'll love that or hate it. So, I scratch Tex out, shaking my head.
I really miss you.
It's only been a week, but your absence is felt everywhere in my apartment. I miss the smell of your cooking or your perfume. I miss finding red hair on my clothes and my pillows. I miss your clothes piled up on the chair in the bedroom, your makeup spread out on the bathroom counter.
I miss your smile. Your laughter.
Please come home.
That sounds good, doesn't it? But, no to that, too. Because she doesn't doubt that I miss her, what she doubts is that I love her. She's afraid I don't want to have a family with her.
So, I put pen to paper again, this time on a new sheet.
To you—whatever your name will be. I promise to love you as long as I possibly can and to give you everything.
This isn't just a promise to Sophia...it's a promise to whatever family we make together if she'll take me back.
I promise to teach you how to throw a ball, and I promise to learn how to braid your hair. I promise to take you riding on the ranch in Summerville. I promise to get you a puppy.
I promise to be there for every milestone, every first step, every first word. I promise to be the best father I can be and the best partner I can be. I promise to be honest with you and to always communicate how I feel, even if it's hard sometimes.
I pause, switching back to Sophia's letter. The two are intertwined, one and the same. The promises I make to our child are to her, too. I hate the idea of leaving her behind, but if she loves me...I won't keep my love away from her.
Sophia, I know I messed up. I know I didn't communicate how I felt, and I know that scared you. But please believe me when I say you are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the person I want to have a family with. You are the person I want to grow old with.
I'm scared of the unknown, the future, and not being enough for you. But I'm ready to face those fears with you by my side. Iwant to be there for you when you need me, and I want you to be there for me.
Please come home, Sophia. I miss you more than I can put into words.
Love,
Ryan
As I finish the letter, I fold the paper neatly and tuck it into an envelope, writing Sophia's name on the front. I know it's not a grand gesture, but it's a start. It's a way to let her know that I'm willing to put in the work, and to be vulnerable and open with her. And if it's not enough...well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Tex whines at my feet, and I look down at him with a small smile. "Don't worry, buddy. We'll get her back."
I stand up and head to the kitchen, scrubbing my hand through my hair as I consider what the hell I'm going to do for dinner tonight. I decide to feed Tex instead, not quite hungry yet—but we both snap our heads toward the door at the sound of a key in the door.
I keep my eyes trained on the door, standing stock still while Tex trots over, barking and wagging his tail. And as though I've summoned her here with the letter, there she is...
