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I wasn't sure if it was ever going to sink in for them. How could it? With something happening every five seconds, I feared for their mental health. I felt horrible for telling them because they had this new burden on their shoulders that shouldn't have been there.
"We're glad that you've told us, you know that don't you?" my grandad had said to me.
"I'm serious, Eves, don't youeverfeel like you can't talk to us. We're a family."
Hearing him say that had lowered my guilt level ever so slightly, but everything was still getting me down.
That night I laid in bed after my bath and with my stomach bare, I traced my stomach with my finger where stretch marks had started to form.
I ignored them and focused on my miracle moving inside.
"Hey, baby," I said and closed my eyes so I could imagine them.
"I bet everything looks pretty great from in there," I said quietly.
"Everything looks pretty great from out here, too," I heard Kit say from the doorway and my eyes shot open. I pulled my top over my stomach and sat up, offering him a half smile.
Once at my side, he pulled my top up again and I felt paranoid about the stretch marks gathering on my hips. He noticed them too, and as he crouched down at the side of the bed, he kissed the skin and then placed his head on my stomach to listen inside.
"Hmm," he frowned and looked at me, "she said you've gotta stop eating so many apples."
I chuckled despite trying to stay serious.
"But they'resogood," I answered.
"We should probably place an apple tree in the garden, just to keep up with the demand."
"They'd have to be thosedelicious,juicyapples.." I trailed on and Kit stared at me, hovering his eyes over my lips.
"You okay?" I asked as he got up.
He nodded. "Just you talking about apples has given me a hard on," he said whilst adjusting his jeans around his crotch.
"All I did was talk about apples…"
"Yeah, like that woman speaks about food on the bloody M&S adverts…"
"Here's me thinking you were just coming to talk to me."
"Me too," he answered, "not really my fault your mouth turns me on, though."
I shook my head in disbelief and looked away from him.
"Ihavecome to talk to you," he said before sitting himself down in the chair we had situated beside the cupboard.
It meant distance and maybe he needed that.
I stared at him, wondering when he was going to start.
"I am. I mean, Iwasscared about having a girl, okay?"
I nodded, already knowing that.
"I don't know how to say this," he said, placing his hands to his mouth.
"Just say it, no matter how brutal, just speak to me."
He nodded.
