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"I love you, Eves, like I've never loved anything before. Although it's my job, protecting you has been more than a job. As if I were protecting my last breath from being stolen from me."
I wasn't going to well-up. I swore it to myself.
"I never wanna be without it, because that means being without you and I can't have that. Don't get me wrong, I'd love our son unconditionally as I do you, and I'd kill to keep him safe. The only thing is, I can train a boy to keep himself safe, train him how to fight and be strong."
"You can teach a girl just the same," I said, denying him those words.
He nodded. "Let me finish."
"I'd somehow convinced myself that it would just be another victim that I'd need to protect and that I'm not strong enough to protectherfrom the amount of shit directed at us. Especially with the recent things happening.I'vebeen the target. So, my thoughts were, how am I gonna protect you and a little girl as well when I'm clueless as to what's coming next?"
I looked down at my hands, feeling a huge burden.
"Then I thought of you," he said.
I looked at him, his eyes were full of love. A look I'd missed.
"How strong you are. Everything you've been through and yet you're still willing to give your last breath to protect the ones you love, to tell them the truth and you never give in."
"That doesn't sound like me," I said honestly.
"Well, tough shit, because thatisyou."
I shook my head. I wasn't strong, I knew I wasn't.
"My point being, we arehaving a little girl. When she's ready I can teach her to protect herself, she'll have your strength…"
He moved over to me then and he crouched against the bed as I sat up and crossed my legs.
"You're the strongest person I've ever met, Eves. If our little girl is only fifty percent of you, then she'll already be perfect."
I nodded, rubbing a tear away. I nodded, not because I believed him that I was strong, but because our little girl would be perfect no questions asked and his words had weakened my hormones.
"I'm sorry I acted the way I did, I guess I'm not as great at dealing with pressure as I thought. I should have spoken to you, I just didn't want to place any worry onto you."
He reached his hand out and placed it gently on my stomach.
"If anything happens to her because of me, I might as well be dead."
I placed my hand on top of his there, on my stomach and frowned at him.
"Stop putting yourself down, you hear me? You've dealt with so much alone. You've held everything together and you've not only taken care of me but everyone we know. You're allowed to be scared, to be mad and not know what to do. You're not allowed to shut me out."
He nodded and reached forward to kiss me.
The second our lips touched I felt a tingle across my body. I pulled Kit onto the bed with me. Rolling over onto the other side of the bed, I followed him as he kept his hands on my body.
I sat there straddling him and hummed when his tongue met mine.
After everything that had happened,we needed something happy.
So, Kit's birthday came at the perfect time.
It was hard keeping his surprise a secret, and I knew he was pretty sure that none of us had bothered.
That morning he left later than usual to go to work and it meant I had to wait to start the preparations.
Once he was gone, he was out of the way to start baking his cake.
