AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t want any favors, Mom.”
“That’s not what this would be.Why won’t you let me help you, dammit?”
“Mom, it’s okay, really.I already have a few interviews with construction companies lined up.That’s what I want to do.I want to be a contractor.Believe me, this is what I want.”
She abruptly cursed and I realized as she was cutting the bread she must’ve cut herself, because she was holding her hand and a drop of blood hit the counter.“Mom,” I said.
When she didn’t move, just looked down and began to sniffle, I guided her over to the sink where I wrapped a piece of paper towel over it to stop the bleeding.“Here, hold this,” I insisted.
I opened the cabinet where I knew she kept the peroxide and poured some on a paper towel to place on her open cut.“Geez, Mom, you have to be more careful.”She’d need a Band-Aid but that was all, thankfully.
She looked at me with teary eyes.“You have to be more careful, Colt.I can’t lose you.Iwon’tlose you.”
I looked at her with sympathy.“Mom, I know you worry about me, worry about all of us, but you don’t need to.”
“Why did you go off to war?Why couldn’t you just stay here with me?”
I sighed heavily.I knew this was what she was trying to say earlier.She knew I’d been to a funeral this week.She didn’t comment on it, but there was still lots so communicated to me in those unspoken words.This wasn’t the first time, either.There was a lot we hadn’t talked about—in a long while.A lot that had been left unsaid.I was wondering when we would have this conversation, the one neither of us really wanted to have, but needed to.I chose my words very carefully.“I didn’t do it to hurt you, and I wasn’t trying to leave you.I love you, Mom.I needed to do it.For me.”
“For your father and this stupid Ryder tradition that all the boys go off to fight for their country.”Mom had never said those words aloud before, to anyone, I was certain of it.I nodded, taking it all in, looking around.It was a strange time to do this, but it was right, I knew.
Mulling over her words I knew she wasn’t wrong, but it was about more than Dad.I had to do it for myself.It taught me a lot and I grew a lot over there.I saw a lot of shit I wish I didn’t, but I wouldn’t change a minute of it.“I am sorry that my leaving hurt you.I knew what it was like for you when we went to war one-by-one and it made me sick thinking that when I left, you were going to have to go through that all over again.”
“Deacon never left my side, and I wasn’t all alone.But Wyatt and Damon were already gone and you were going to the same place, fighting the same war.I hardly slept a wink, just waiting for the phone to ring or for someone to come to that door.I didn’t answer any of the phone calls, your father or Deacon did.I couldn’t bare the thought of bad news coming from the other end.And then—”
“And then it did,” I finished her thought.She was talking about when she got the call that Damon had been taken to a hospital in Germany.He had suffered a head injury and had multiple surgeries that were long, intense, and Mom had to sign off on each one.Waivers she didn’t want to sign.“I was thankful they gave me leave for a little while to be here.”
She evaluated her bandage, wiped her face of the tears, and smiled.“Let’s talk about something else, shall we?Your brothers told me you have a special lady in your life.”She went from sweet mother to something else entirely when she suddenly whipped me with the dish towel and glared at me.“Why haven’t I met her?And is she treating you right?”
I chuckled.Subtly was never one of her strong suits.“She’s great, Mom.I can see myself falling in love with her, that’s for sure.”
“But,” she prompted and waited.
“How could you tell?”
“I’m your mother.I always know when there’s going to be a but.So, what is it?”
“She has a complicated past.It’s not my story to tell, but she’s gone through a lot and I don’t know if she’s ready for a relationship.”
She cupped either side of my face and stared me right in the eyes.“Honey, you’d be surprised how much women can handle.We’re tougher than we look.Give her some credit, she may just surprise you with her strength.”
I knew she was strong, that wasn’t the question.“I don’t want to see her get burned again.She doesn’t need any more pain and suffering.”
“Ah,” she replied and backed away, “so that’s it.You can’t put her in bubble wrap, Colt, but you can try to keep her safe, especially that heart of hers that I’m sure you hold in those hands of yours.”Before I could respond, she continued, “When I met your father I was in an abusive relationship.He wasn’t a good man and he had me wrapped around his finger.Your father saved me.He wanted to be my knight in shining armor and I didn’t want him to.I argued constantly with him, said I could take care of myself.”
“Mom, I had no idea.I’m so sorry.Good thing Dad’s stubborn.”
“No more stubborn than me, I’m afraid.”
“That’s why we got married when I turned eighteen.We were in love and it made the most sense.We immediately moved in together, I changed my last name, of course, and he made sure that man never found me.And if he did, I never heard of it.”
“Do you ever wonder?”I couldn’t help but be curious.
She sighed.“You mean if he ever came back around?”
I shook my head.“No.If you made the right choice trusting Dad so fast?”
At that, Mom smiled.“Never.I knew it in my gut.He was right for me.Just because he saved me doesn’t mean there wasn’t genuine love there.It just means it made it happen that much faster, but that’s okay.”
