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“I want to hear the truth. Tell me why you joined. Tell me why you had to get away. Tell me!” She pressed her palm against my chest, her nails digging in. “You owe me the truth!”
“Because I paid my brother’s debt and the asshole refused to let me go.” The words rushed from my mouth, a biting and nasty statement that I’d held in my heart for far too long.
“Your brother?” she asked, her eyes opening wide.
Hissing, my breathing was heavy, the weight of the truth crushing down on me. I backed away, moving toward the bank of doors and glaring at the ocean. “Yes. My brother. My brother is alive because of choices that I made, decisions that I wish I could take back.”
“Oh, God. What happened?”
I could just see her reflection in the clear glass, the worried look on her face. She cared about me, which is more than I’d ever experienced from anyone since joining the cartel. “I just…”
“Please, Blade. Allow me to be your friend.”
An odd sense of peace crawled its way into my system, trickling around my veins and creating warmth. I was finally able to speak, to tell a story that had haunted me for so damn long. “Dane was a year older than me. He was always the troublemaker and the dreamer in the family. He and I were so close as kids and I looked up to him, which my parents hated. Dane never got along with my father. They argued all the time about his grades and all the times he was suspended from school. Dane goofed off and after graduating high school, worked some odd jobs, one turning into another. My father was on his back every day about going to college, but Dane wanted nothing to do with that. He kept thinking he could make it big doing other things. After a nasty argument, he packed his bags and left in the middle of the night.”
“I’m so sorry, Erik. I don’t know what to say.”
I almost laughed hearing my given name. “Yeah, I was and still am a fuckin’ mess. For about three years, I heard from him on and off. He seemed to be doing really well, but what I didn’t know at the time was that he was lying. By then I’d graduated high school and was in college. I was in Duke, believe it or not. One day he called me and said he’d finally found his place.”
Crystal placed her hand on my arm but remained quiet. I was empty inside at this point, merely telling a story that even my parents refused to hear.
“He seemed like he was on top of the world. Then all communication just stopped. I knew he was in Florida, or at least I thought he was still there. Something in my gut told me he was in trouble. I did everything I could to find him, but it was like he’d vanished. After a couple days, I couldn’t take it any longer. So, I decided to go to Miami to find him. Let me tell you, I wasn’t prepared for what I found. I turned over every ugly rock in my search, pissing off a hell of a lot of people. I turned into a different man, brutal and angry. No one was willing to give me answers, but I finally found the right source.”
“This family?” she whispered.
I nodded as images flashed by one after another. Every street I’d gone down. Every dead end. The bastards who lied to me. “He’d hooked up with Diego Sanchez and from what I’d been able to find out, Dane had moved up the ranks quickly, until he was caught embezzling funds. At least that’s what I finally beat out of this little prick one night.”
“They killed him?” Her hand squeezed my arm, and she pressed her body against my back. The warmth alone was comforting.
I laughed, trying to abate the tears. “By then, I’d asked too many questions and Diego knew my name as well as my intentions. He was in a teaching moment, as he liked to call them, so he gave me an offer. Dane could live if I agreed to pay or work off his debt.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Oh, no, I’m not. You were right. I had no true understanding of what I was getting myself into. I was just a stupid kid from New York but there was no other choice I could make. After Dane was well enough to travel, I put him on a train with explicit instructions to my parents to move and forget I ever existed. Since I couldn’t pay back the money, I accepted the deal.”
“Oh, my God. How much did Dane owe?”
“He’d gambled away most of the money to a tune of over four hundred thousand dollars.”
“Is Dane still alive?”
“I… don’t honestly know. My parents did as I asked, packing up and leaving Rochester. The last time I heard from them, they were heading west.” I wasn’t ready to tell her the rest of the story. I wasn’t even certain if I was living a pipe dream.
Crystal kissed my shoulder, her fingers touching me so delicately. “You saved your brother’s life.” Her whisper burned into the back of my mind, leaving me sick inside. Sick and ready for any and all consequences.
“Yeah, and in turn I lost my soul.” The admittance was easy. The realization one I could finally accept.
“Then allow me to give it back to you.” She swept her hand up to my neck, swiping the tips to my jaw then brushing them across my lips. “Allow me to share your pain. My pain. Blade…”
There was no longer any world around us, merely two wounded creatures longing to find a revered peace. Any concept of cohesive thinking was sucked into a black hole, replaced by the burning desire that would never be sated. Never. Grasping her hand, I brought her palm to my mouth, pressing my lips against her heated skin.
“Oh…” Her lower lip quivered even as a nervous tic created wrinkles in her otherwise perfect skin. She clung to me as if holding on to a lifeline. I’d never wanted to protect anyone so much. I was overwhelmed with emotion, the kind of burning love that seared a hole in my heart.
“Listen to me. You are mine. Do you understand?”
“Yes, God, yes,” she exclaimed, panting as her eyes darted back and forth.
“You belong to me and will from now on. You will submit to my every command.” The words were issued from a dying man, no longer fearful of what I had to face.
