AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He rocks on his heels, rubbing the back of his neck. “Want to know what I think? I think you’re scared, and you’re trying to run away because you blame yourself for me getting hurt.”
I roll my watery eyes. “You shouldn’t even be here.”
He steps closer, gently hooking his finger under my chin and raising it so I have no choice but to look at him. “I won’t believe you want to break up until you say it to my face. Because I—” his voice cracks, breathless. “I love you.”
He loves me.
I want to be loved so badly, to be needed, but his words gouge a hole into my heart. The blade in my heart twists until I’m lifeless. He’s only fingertips away, but he’s untouchable.
He can’t be mine anymore.
My tears spill over, and he wipes them away. His hand lingers on my cheek.Please don’t.
His dark eyes drink me in. “I just need you to know I love you. You make me feel whole. You are all I think about every second of every day. But . . . I love you enough to let you go if that’s really what you want.” He tucks my bangs behind my ear. “So tell me, is that really what you want?”
I want him to hold me tight and never let me go.
I bite my cheek, trying to stop crying. “I’m sorry,” I whisper through sobs. My shoulders shake, and I hug my middle as my stomach knots up. “I need you to go.”
Caleb’s face falls.
Part of me wants him to stand his ground. To tell me no. But I know that won’t happen. Caleb is a people pleaser. If I tell him to go, he will.
“I’m so sorry,” I cry.
There’s an awkward silence. Neither one of us says anything. I know I should leave, but I can’t seem to move. I want to scream. To throw up. To pull my hair out.
Why can’t things ever go my way?
Caleb hesitates, but then he puts his arms around me, hugging me. “It’s okay,” he whispers.
I want to grab onto his jacket and pull him closer. I want to rest my head on his shoulder as he holds the broken pieces of me together. But it doesn’t matter what I want . . .
He steps back, bangs falling into his eyes. This time, he doesn’t bother to fix them. It would only reveal the tears he’s trying to hold back. “I’ll go.”
As he walks away, a part of me goes with him. The part that made my world bearable.
CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
My room becomes my sanctuary,and I don’t go to school on Monday. My blinds are shut, creating a somber atmosphere to match the dungeon I’ve created in my head. Despite the constant cycle of nightmares, I force myself to sleep most of the day because it’s easier than fighting the pain.
The doorbell rings. I would ignore it, but it won’t stop. It’s followed by enough pounding to practically knock down our door.
I force my heavy eyes to stay open because they’re swollen from crying. My throat is raw from the lack of water, and my head throbs from sleeping underneath my pillow.
I peel back the covers, and as soon as my feet hit the floor, pain shoots through my sore and tired body. I’ve been laying in the same position for so long I have cramps in my legs. My hair is a wild mess, and I haven’t changed my pajamas in two days. Still, I head to the entryway because I don’t have the energy to try and look presentable.
I open the door.
Sadie stands in front of me with her arms crossed. In her hand is a marked up paper covered in red ink. Her jaw is clenched, and her mouth is pinched tightly in a frown. She waves the paper at me. “You promised.”
I thought it wasn’t possible, but my heart sinks further.
“I called and texted you a thousand times, but you ignored me.”
“I didn’t–”
The anger on her face is tainted by pain. “I thought you changed. I really did. I thought you were back to the old you. Remember that person? She cared about her friends.”
