Page 29 of If We Say Goodbye


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My brain is scrambled. Nothing makes sense right now. Going on a date with Caleb has never once crossed my mind, and never in a million years would I have guessed he was into me. I mean, I’m a disaster. I don’t even like myself most of the time. I’m quiet, and messy, and angry, and a million other things that drive people away from me. I’ve fully accepted I’ll be single into my ripe old age, surrounding myself with dogs instead of people.

Still, despite all rational thinking, I find myself considering his offer because I don’t have any other choices at the moment. Would going on a couple of dates be so bad if it meant I could graduate?

I stop in the middle of the garage, pivoting to face him. “Me? I just—I’m sorry, but what’s wrong with you?” I gesture to myself. “I’m literally the definition of a walking red flag.”

The corners of Caleb’s mouth turn up, and he laughs softly.

“What?”

His gaze lifts from where it’s lingering on the floor. I’m not sure how I feel about his eyes roaming over me before meeting mine. “Oh, I know what I’m getting into.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I can’t believe I’m having this conversation in the first place.

He stands and strolls toward me, his hands tucked in his pockets.

“What are you doing?” I stagger back.

His back arches as he leans in to be at eye level with me. He stares directly into my eyes. “It means maybe I like a little trouble.”

He’s too close. I take another step back. And another. My back runs into the wall, and I catch my breath. I slam my eyes shut, expecting him to be gone when they reopen, but he’s still there—inches away. His eyes don’t falter.

I sidestep, breaking away. “You’re being weird.”

He laughs. “Would it really be so bad?”

I pull at my sleeves, but the wet fabric clings to my skin. “I’ve never thought about us like that.”

“Come on, just give me a chance. Think about it this way: I’m agreeing to drive you for the rest of the year, so you’ll get to school without jumping out of any more buses and you’ll graduate. On top of all that, I’ll buy you dinner a few times. Is it just me, or isn’t that a win-win situation? I’ve already accepted the fact that you probably won’t change your mind, so if you don’t, I won’t be mad.”

I throw my head back and groan. Why does this have to be my only option? “If you’ve liked me for a while, why did you wait until now to tell me?”

“Because now you might have a reason to say yes.”

I cross my arms and start pacing again, chewing at my bottom lip. “How many dates?”

“Ten.”

I laugh. “No way. Two.”

“Five.”

My eyes narrow again, and my face scrunches up while I weigh my options. It might be awkward, but it also might be a nice distraction from Mom and Dad. And the thought of a few free dinners is tempting. Besides, he already told me that he knows I won’t change my mind. So, I suffer through a few dinners, get away from my parents, and graduate high school.

Fine.

I let out a slow breath. “Okay.”

“Really?” His face lights up.

I nod.

“I want it in writing.”

I roll my eyes. “Really? This isn’t some rom-com movie, you know.”

“Yeah, really. That way you won’t change your mind.” He starts to open some of the boxes that line the shelves at the back of the garage. After a minute, he pulls out a notepad. It’s dusty and bent, but it’ll do the job. He rummages around a little more until he finds a marker. “Got it.”

He sits on the stairs again, resting the pad on his leg. “Bec Jacobs agrees to go on five dates with Caleb Park before the end of the semester in exchange for transportation to and from school for the rest of the school year.”

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