Page 35 of If We Say Goodbye


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The phone in his hand lights up and looks perfectly fine. He even unlocks it and swipes to the right.

“What’s wrong with it?” I ask.

He sighs, holding it out to me. “It doesn’t have your number.”

I push it away. “And it still doesn’t.”

“Oh, come on. That was smooth,” he says with a half laugh.

I grimace. “What? No. That was so cringy my ears are bleeding.”

He continues to follow me. “Don’t you think it would make sense for us to have each other’s numbers? What if one of us is running late or what if one of us gets sick? Do you really expect me to go knock on your door every time I need to tell you something?”

I find a table and sit down. “It’s worked so far. Hasn’t it?”

“Just take a moment to picture this: you wake up and realize you slept in. I’m in the car waiting, and the only thing you can do is run outside in your yellow polka dot pajamas to tell me you aren’t ready yet. Wouldn’t a simple text be a much better solution?”

“First of all, in what world would I wear yellow polka dot pajamas? And second, my mom wouldn’t let me sleep in.”

“What if you got sick?”

“I never get sick,” I say.

He sits across from me. “What ifIget sick? Or what ifIsleep in?”

I pause, twisting my mouth in thought. Then, I smirk. “Your window is right across from mine. You could always yell.”

“So, let me get this straight, you hate it when I play drums, but you’re giving me permission to yell at you from across the yard any time I need to.”

I hold my finger up to stop him. “That’s not what I said.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what you said, so any time something pops into my head and I think ‘Oh, I should tell Bec,’ I’m going to swing my window open and—”

“Fine. I’ll give you my number, but if you spam me, I’ll block you faster than the speed of light.” I take his phone and enter my number into his contacts. “I sent myself a text so I have your number if I ever need it. Happy?”

He nods, slipping the phone back into his pocket. “Where are we going to sit?”

“We?”

“Why not? We’re dating after all.”

I choke. “Excuse me?”

He smiles with mischievous eyes. “You agreed to go on five dates with me, so . . .”

I shake my head. “Say that again, and you’ll get an early ticket to your grave. Got it?”

I sit down at a table not too far from Sadie. I notice her watching as Caleb sits across from me. I can sense her questions. I know she’s dying to find out why I’m eating with Caleb.

Growing up, she always shared with me who she had crushes on, and she always tried to pry mine out of me. The problem was, I didn’t have one, other than the occasional celebrity. She would make us play the game where she would go through everyone I knew and make me choose between people in the most ridiculous hypothetical scenarios.

One time she said, “If the world ended and it was only you, Joseph, and Micah, who would you choose? If you don’t choose anyone, the entire human race goes extinct.” She had shaken me by the shoulders. “Extinct. Humanity’s future rests solely on your shoulders. Who would you choose?”

I shrugged.

She sighed, shaking her head. “Humanity is gone.” She snapped her fingers. “Poof. Just like that, and it’s all your fault. Good job.”

I’d be lying if I said that conversation didn’t make me laugh. Even now, the smallest chuckle slips out of me. She’d faint if she knew that I’m not just sitting across from a boy, but I agreed to go on not one, not two, but five dates with him.

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