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“I guess we won’t be seeing him again,” she said, her tone hinting at amusement even though her eyes were wide. I think she might have been in shock. We both were.
The sound I made was slightly hysterical, so I stopped. My ass was leaking, and I was hoping I could sit here forever and not have to deal with the mess I was making of the hotel bed linens. I would have to steal the bedding and fucking burn it when we got home.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not in charge before. It was hot but a little terrifying.”
“I…it was… It just sort of…happened.” I was babbling. I’d never felt so weirdly out of control. My brain was rattling around like a handful of ball bearings in a tin can. Noise and no real thoughts.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were attracted to men? I didn’t know it was something you wanted to try.”
My neck heated. “It had never crossed my mind until it was happening.”
Had I even been willing? It was like events had been set into motion and played out to an inevitable conclusion, and my own desires had been irrelevant to the outcome.
“Oh, Valor. Did he take advantage of you?” Her hand tightened on my arm. “I was so brainless after he and I… Then I was trying to figure out if I should stop him, but you didn’t say no, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I wasn’t sure what to do.”
“No. I could have stopped him, but I let it happen. I didn’t need rescuing. Like he said, it was…interesting. It wasn’t against my will.” I pulled her closer, stalling for time. My leaking ass was freaking me out. I definitely didn’t want to shuffle to the bathroom to clean up with my submissive watching me.
Chapter Four: Tarryn
He was freaking out. He had a wild look in his eyes, panicked, like an animal in a trap.
“I’m going to give you a minute to get into the shower, and then I’m going to join you.”
I’d seen subdrop in a mirror so many times that I recognized it. I had never seen Valor freak out, not even when my father had insisted we get married, or when they’d kicked us out to fend for ourselves.
“I can take a shower by myself. You don’t need to come in.” He wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“Yeah, I do. I’m not leaving you alone in there even if you think that’s what you want right now.”
I handed him a box of tissues and the waste basket I found in the attached bathroom, then went into the living room and turned on the television to have something to do with my hands, and the nervous energy running through my body. I was sore—I could almost still feel the stranger inside me, claiming space that had always been reserved for Valor. My thighs were slick withhis cum.
When we’d talked about this in theory, I’d assumed Valor would be jealous and desperate to reclaim what was his, but Valor had gotten more than he’d bargained for. Now, he was reeling, and I was feeling protective.
I flipped channels, trying to work through my emotions. Even though the whole thing had been Valor’s idea, I was feeling so much guilt for enjoying it. I shouldn’t have gotten off so hard with another man. It was hugely disloyal of me. And watching Mr. Always-in-Control submit to another man? That had been fucking hot. Now that I knew he was upset about it, I tried not to think about how I’d gone from my own orgasm, to having a hands-free one from watching them. They’d been beautiful together—light hair and dark, gorgeous faces and sinful bodies.
I clicked through a few channels, then stared at the screen while a man shouted about why I needed to buy the food processor he was demonstrating.
After a few minutes, I could hear Valor moving around in the bedroom. I wanted to sit, but that would necessitate grabbing a towel to sit on, and there was no way I was invading his space until I heard the shower running. Cleanup might be emotionally taxing for him. I knew I’d wanted privacy after anal the first many times we’d done it.
Even watching Valor suck a cock had been hot. It shouldn’t have surprised me that he’d be good at it, considering how good he was at going down on me. The principle was the same, even if the equipment wasn’t. I doubted he’d seen the way Loïc’s neck had corded and his jaw had gone tight as he did his best to service the man.
I’d always thought my husband was drop-dead sexy, but now, having seen him willing to let someone else take control, willing to see what it was like with a man, it made me appreciate his sensuality all the more. He was beautiful inside and out, and I was so in love with him itmade my heart ache.
My belly clenched. I didn’t know how to handle a full-blown freak-out, and tried to think through all of the times Valor had given me aftercare when I was falling apart, and what had worked the best. Loïc had fucked off without so much as giving Valor a pat on the head, and from the look in his eyes, my husband was crashing. Then again, Loïc had appeared almost equally fucked up about what had happened between them, as though he’d melted down and checked out. I doubted Valor had noticed that.
The shower had been running for maybe two minutes when I let myself in. Steam was already collecting. Valor was standing under the hot spray, eyes closed, letting the water sluice over him from the top of his head, down his neck and chest. One of the nice things about staying in an expensive hotel room was that they always had decent water pressure.
I slid into the shower with him, not touching him at first. He had to have heard the door close, but he didn’t greet me or even look my way.
“You okay?” I asked quietly.
“No,” he admitted. That was huge. Valor rarely let on if he was upset about something, so this had seriously fucked him up.
“I’m going to hug you, okay?”
He pressed his lips together, and I thought he would refuse, but then he nodded. I moved under the water with him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my head to his chest. We stood there with me clinging to the front of him like a baby koala who wasn’t sure if its mother was going to reject it. He didn’t touch me, but he allowed me to touch him. At least it was a start. I pressed my hands against his back, trying to ground him. He shuddered and exhaled a shaky breath.
“What happened?”
