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“That was the point, but we’ll have time to discuss things if they come up. It’s not like he’s going to show up in Prague, and you’re headed back in a few days.”
She pulled away, but her shoulders relaxed. “True, but what if he showed up when I was alone somewhere?”
“If he shows up, I trust you to decide what you want to do.” I swallowed, trying to figure out if my cock stirring at the idea of her hooking up with Loïc again was worth the ache in my throat and chest from the jealousy I was feeling. “You know I’m only a phone call away, no matter what happens. If you call me, I’ll drop everything to talk to you about it.”
“What if you were sleeping or in a meeting?”
“I’ll keep my ringer on.”
I started the car and pulled out of the driveway, not wanting someone to look out the window and see us having a heated discussion—not that onlookers would consider it heated. The fact that she wasn’t automatically saying, “Yes, Valor” was significant. It satisfied my jealousy to see how reluctant she was to do it again, even to please me. I’d seen how hard she’d gotten off—we had talked about it at length several times—but I hadn’t mentioned how jealous I still was about it, and she hadn’t hinted she wanted to do it again.
It was weird not knowing everything that was going on in that brilliant mind of hers. We’d known each other so well for so long that we often finished each other sentences. This was like opening a door in your house to find an entire secret attic existed. It was amazing to be married to the same person for so long and yet still not know everything about her, even though we talked and texted each other incessantly.
“Okay,” she said about five minutes later.
“Okay?”
“Are there rules?”
Adrenaline rushed in my ears. I was so keyed up I contemplated pulling over and fucking her on the hood of the car.
I ran a hand through my hair. “Do you want there to be rules? Don’t fall in love with him and leave me. That’s the main one.”
“But what about hard limits? Is there anything you don’t want me doing with him?”
“I can’t think of any hard limits. I liked watching the two of you together. I don’t want to hold you back.” I was jealous at the idea of her doing anything with the man but the thought of her naked, squirming in his arms gave me a raging hard-on.
“And what about you? Are you going to sleep with him again?”
“What?” I almost hit the gravel shoulder of the road, but corrected myself without needing to swerve.
“I’m serious. What if he wants you again? What’s the plan then?”
“I—I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting it the first time, and I’m not sure I even liked it.”
“That doesn’t meanhedidn’t. He might want you more than he wants me.”
My brain stammered, not sure how to respond. I’d had vivid, intrusive memories about what he’d done to me, and had caught myself in a few sordid fantasies about him. It was disturbing that I might be attracted enough to a man to fantasize about him, but there was no sense in lying to myself or my wife about it.
“I guess I’d be open to it, if it was okay with you.”
She covered her eyes, but nodded. “Okay. What are the rules?”
“The same rules apply. We get to watch, or at least get the sordid details after the fact. Complete hall pass with this one person.” I chuckled uneasily, remembering how out of control I had felt.I was so used to being the dominant one that finding myself accidentally submitting to someone had been a huge shock—a shock I hadn’t recovered from for hours after Loïc made his precipitous exit.
“You’re giving me a hall pass with him because you want a hall pass with him.” She said it very evenly, as though she’d been considering how to say those words all night. Maybe she had.
“No. It didn’t occur to me that he might want me again.”
“But you want him again.”
I swallowed. “The thought of it makes me nervous, but one night of it was interesting. Maybe I would try it again.”
“Okay.” Her voice was so quiet, like she was conceding rather than agreeing wholeheartedly. I had the urge to leave it at that and take it as a win, but this was too important to end the conversation there.
“If you’re not a fan of the idea, we can forget about it. Your happiness means more to me than any kink.”
She grimaced. “I’m not going to pretend having sex with him wasn’t hot, and watching you have sex with him wasn’t hotter, but weren’t you at all jealous? I was jealous, but I was also worried about you, so I managed to distract myself with that. Don’t you think doing this again—and separately—might damage our relationship?”
