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He grunted.
“Do you want me to get rid of it?”
“Do you stare at it and think about him?”
“No!”
He grumbled. “Keep it if you want to. Just don’t fall in love with the guy.”
“I don’t plan to.” I rubbed my eyes. “I need to go to bed. I have an early start tomorrow.”
“Is he still there?”
“No, he fucked off when he was done. He tucked me in and got me a glass of water, though.”
I could see him struggling with my feigned nonchalance, but if we never talked about it, he’d never get over it.
He forced a laugh. “He isn’t big on aftercare.”
“I guess he left the cuddling for you to take care of.”
“You showering before bed?”
“I should, otherwise I’ll have to go to work smelling like him tomorrow.” It was a risky thing to say if I didn’t want to make things worse, but I wasn’t going to pretend nothing had happened. I was also still pissed and feeling reckless.
His throat bobbed. “Can I come with you?”
“Of course.” I went to lock my apartment door, only to find it had been locked for me. How had he locked my deadbolt without a key?
I went to the bathroom, stripped off my robe, then turned on the water.
“Oh shit,” Valor said, sounding both bothered and impressed.
“What?”
“Have you seen your neck?”
I whirled to the mirror. My neck was covered in bite marks and hickeys.
“Fuck! My makeup artist is going to kill me.”
Valor laughed, this time sounding a bit more like himself.
“Tell me everything.”
Chapter Thirteen: Loïc
Who deserves love? What makes one deserving?
Loïc Leduc, Journal 14
The cameras weren’t in an ideal position, but I could fix that the next time I snuck into her apartment. Listening to them talk through their problem—me—was interesting.
She’d told him about the ring. Disappointing. It had felt like a shared secret.
They didn’t like living apart—any socially stunted jackass could see that, including me. Was it so hard for them to see I was helping them? Without me, it had seemed like one spoke while the other only pretended to listen.
It was a kind of love, but it was mostly a habit.
