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“I have my brother’s family, and I have you. Who needs more friends than that?”

“You should have more friends. It would be good for you.”

“Having friends is too hard. It’s easier to have family, who are off-limits, and you, my demented little conscience, who I visit when I’ve made a mess.”

“Maybe you could make friends with more people you’re not tempted to sleep with.”

“If I like someone, I usually want to sleep with them. It’s the way my brain is wired.” I knocked on the side of my head. “A little bit broken, remember?”

“You’ve never tried anything with me,” they pointed out supportively.

“Of course not! You’re far too young for me. Even if you weren’t, you’re aro ace. I respect that.”

“You need to learn how to be affectionate without turning it into sex every time.”

“I’m affectionate with you, and with my family.”

Jack yawned again. “What part of our relationship is affection? Giving me money?”

“It makes me happy to make sure you have somewhere safe to live and food in your kitchen. We’re both equally uncomfortable with hugging, so that’s all you get.”

They smiled at me, gaze softening. “I guess we can count that as affection, but you shouldn’t have to give people money to show them how you feel about them.”

“No, but you can use money, and I have too much of it anyway.”

“How did we get to talking about you and me? We’re supposed to be talking about you and your poor victims.”

“They’re willing participants in both the sex and the drama. I’m doing them a favor.” I sprawled out on the floor like a theatrical starfish.

“Is there a chance you’re giving them drama when that’s not what they want?”

I swatted the statement away like an irritating bug. “Did you know, they’re my age and have been married since they were teenagers? Isn’t that terrible?”

“Well, getting married young can be a risk, but if they’re happy together years later, what difference does it make?”

“I can’t imagine having chosen someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with at sixteen.”

“At sixteen, you were sleeping with your mother who loaned you out to men, and kept you locked in a kennel in the barn most of the time. Don’t you think someone getting married young is less problematic?”

“I suppose.” I wrinkled my nose. “Why do you always have to be so level-headed?”

“You want me to be shocked about their relationship so that I’ll give you a pass for what you’re doing to them. Just because they married young doesn’t give you carte blanche to try to wreck their relationship.”

“This conversation is boring me.”

“You need to think about why you’re interfering in their relationship and consider whether you’re being selfish.”

“Buzzkill.”

“You’re the one who came to me. I think you feel guilty, and you were hoping I would give you my blessing.”

“You think I’m being a prick?”

“How do you feel about what you’re doing?”

“I don’t know. For maybe the first time in my life, I’m enjoying myself. I really like her.” I propped my head on my hand again. “I’m going to give her a baby and make her love me more than she loves him.”

“What if you can’t make her love you more? What then?”

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