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“You’re the one who left her.”
“Her job offer came up when we were already half-moved to California. It was too late for me to back out of the transfer.”
“Maybe you should have quit and stayed with her.”
“I know you would have stayed, but my career matters to me, too.”
“Does it matter to you more than your wife?”
Valor was silent for a long time. “You’re right, I never should have left Prague. I’ve been trying to transfer back for almost a year, but the office there is small, and there hasn’t been anything available.”
I stretched, trying to get comfortable. Although I’d exhausted myself exercising today, I couldn’t sleep.
“You could be there with her all the time,” he pointed out. “If you’re so lonely, why do you leave her?”
“For me, being close to people is as hard as being away from them. Reading people is exhausting. I need time to be home by myself and just exist.” The scent of fresh air and fresh paint still filled the room. Constantly redecorating my walls was therapeutic, but the paint fumes were probably doing a number on my gray matter.
“So, you don’t want to be alone, but you don’t want to be with people all the time.”
“I want to feel like people know me—the real me—and have them like me anyway.”
“That’s a tall order. You’re not very likable.”
“I know.”
“I was joking.”
“No, it was the truth presented as a joke. I know the difference.”
“Well, you could work on that if you wanted to.”
“I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not.”
“You don’t need to pretend to be someone else, but you can stop going out of your way to be an ass.”
“You like me this way.”
“Maybe a little.”
My face pulled into a goofy smile. Was I blushing?
“What are you wearing?” I asked.
He stammered something. “I’m not having this conversation with you, Leduc. I’m hanging up now.”
“Okay. I’ll be lying here, thinking about you sucking my dick.”
At the other end of the line, he coughed like he’d choked on something. Unfortunately, it wasn’t my cock. “Good night, Loïc.”
“Good night, pretty.”
“If you need to have a pet name for me, can’t you pick something a little less feminine?”
“Absolutely not. I know how much you secretly love it.”
He groaned.
“Bye.” I hung up, and rolled onto my stomach, wondering if he’d dream about me the way I kept dreaming about them.
