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They also fill me with a forlorn yearning for children of my own.
Loïc Leduc, Journal 15
“Where are Frog and Conk?”
“They’re at Ro’s parents’ house with their grandmother, aunt, and cousins,” Severin replied, looking distracted. Extra worry creased his brow, which hadn’t been my intention. So much for trying to help.
“Are Church and Ilse coming?” Severin’s other brother was much better at reading him and helping him stay calm. I envied Church for growing up with Severin, but he was such a good guy it was impossible to resent him.
“They couldn’t get a flight until tomorrow.”
He got very quiet.
“She’ll be okay.”
Minnow needed to be okay. For my brother. For Rodrigo and the children. Hell, I needed her to be okay for me. She’d taught me what maternal love was supposed to look like. She always seemed to know when I was confused, and she took the time to explain things I already should have known as a grown man.
Nothing was allowed to happen to her.
“There’s no way for you to know she’ll be okay.”
“Isn’t this the best clinic in the state?”
“Money doesn’t guarantee anything.” He grabbed my hand, startling the hell out of me. Neither of us liked being touched unexpectedly, but if he needed to punch me in the face to feel better today, I’d absolutely let him.
“Breathe, Sev.”
“I am breathing!” he growled. He shut his mouth with a click of teeth and stewed next to me for a few minutes, crushing my hand in his big paw. I didn’t have small hands, but I was built more like Rodrigo than like my beast of a brother. “Okay, maybe I wasn’t breathing.”
“You don’t want to go back in?”
“They sent me out. I need to calm down.”
“Were you bullying the doctors?”
“One of them made her wince.”
“What happened?”
“Medical things.” He sighed. “This time feels so much more dangerous. I don’t like this. What if something happens to her?” His eyes—so like mine—were wild with fear.
“She’ll be fine.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
I squeezed his hand. “Life is full of risks, but she’s a tough girl. She has to be to put up with you and Ro and your little monsters.”
He swallowed and nodded. “Sheisstrong.”
“And she will never, ever leave you if she has any choice in the matter.”
“That’s true.” He shifted in his seat then jumped up, forgetting to let go of my hand and almost yanking my arm from its socket before letting go. “But what if she doesn’t have a choice? What if that choice is taken from her?”
He started to pace again. It had taken a few minutes to get him to sit when I’d arrived. Maybe he was better off moving. At least he wasn’t breaking things and threatening people, which was what I’d expected. The fact that this was the third time they’d done this was probably making this easier.
I watched him pace for a few minutes, hoping my presence helped somewhat. Seeing him so upset always upset me, so I worked on keeping myself calm for his sake, and tried to let the chill energy radiate from me the way Jack did for me when I was having a meltdown.
“I wish I could be in there with them.”
