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I caressed her cheek. “You can, Jade.”
She shook her head, tears filling that emptiness in her eyes. “She was my reason for living, Mal. You don’t understand. Without her, I have…”
I held her face gently. “You have everything, Jade. Do you hear me? You have Adeline. You have Serefin. You have entire kingdoms of people counting on you. You are needed, Jade. And you are loved. By a whole lot of people now, not just Tessa. Theworldneeds you.”
I knew my words were void. She wouldn't care. She wouldn’t even have the capacity of caring about anything other than her dead sister right now.
But with war on the horizon, I had to try.
Jade needed to hang on. She needed to dig deep, into that small, hidden corner of perseverance that only came out in situations like this. In situations where you didn’t want to continue. Didn’t want to live.
But you had no choice.
Because someone counted on you. Someone would miss you.
Saints.
I had choked back those words for too long.
I leaned forward and displaced my forehead against Jade’s. She needed to hear me when I said this. She needed to feel how I felt.
“I love you, Jade,” I whispered. Jade’s eyes closed. “I love you, and I know you are hurting. And I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, Jade, because itkillsme to see you in pain. It kills me to see you like this. You are my everything, Jade. Youdeserveeverything. And I know you don’t care about what I have to say right now. I know you’re empty and numb and contemplating how theSaintsyou’ll continue, but youhaveto know this—I love you deeply, Jade.Insatiably. How I lived so many years without you, I have no clue. But you walked into my life when I had given up, and you pulled me back from the ledge when I only wanted to jump. So that’s what I’m going to do to you now, Jade. I’m pulling you back from that ledge. Because I’mselfishand Idon’t wantto go on without you. So I’ll let you sleep this off, but come morning, I’ll be here. And I’ll be here the next day, and the next day. BecauseI can’t livewithout you.”
I stayed there for a moment, half-in awe at the words I had just spoken, before I moved to stand. If she wanted alone time, I would give it to her. No matter how badly I wanted to do just the opposite.
“Wait,” her frail voice stopped me in my tracks. “Thank you, Malachi.”
I turned around and grabbed her outstretched hand. The chill of her skin shocked me. “For what?”
Tears spilled down both of her cheeks. “You weren’t the only one that needed to be pulled back from that ledge.”
Later that night, while Jade was fast asleep next to me, I snuck out of the room.
I killed all five of the fae that were seen messing with Tessa.
And I strung each of their dead bodies from ropes in the dining hall.
CHAPTER29
Jade
There were many times in my life that I wished my sister were dead. It would have been easier without her. Thinking that now sounded cruel, but it was true. At times, Tessa could be the most clueless human alive. Saints, all of those years watching me and I don’t think she ever learned to hunt.
She had tried, of course. And failed. Many, many times. Part of me thought she was so bad at it on purpose, so that she would never have to be relied on like I was.
I smiled at the memory. If that were the case, she was smarter than I gave her credit for.
Malachi slept next to me. I listened to the sound of his deep, calming breaths.
I hadn’t slept much at all. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. And then I saw her mangled, twisted neck laying on the pavement of the garden.
And I saw my father screaming over her dead body.
I tried not to care about him. I tried not to think about where he had gone after Malachi ripped me away. Saints, part of me wished he would just go get drunk. Anything to escape from the pain.
Anything.
Malachi’s wings tucked around us on the bed. Somehow, I felt safer near him. My entire life had just been ripped away from me, but when I was near him…
