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I wasn’t entirely lost.
He had gotten up just hours before, thinking I was asleep. I knew he was going to avenge Tessa’s death. I knew he wouldn’t let something so vile go on in his own kingdom.
And I also knew that the guilt was eating at him. The guilt that he didn’t keep her safe.
Same as me.
Except he wasn’t the one to blame. I was.
Malachi shifted awake next to me, slowly blinking his eyes open before he realized I was already awake.
He sat up instantly, half-jumping out of the bed.
“I’ll get you something to eat.”
“No. I’m coming with you,” I insisted. “I’m not going to hide my face around here. I want everyone to see me. To see that I’m not just going to roll over.”
“You can give it a day, Jade, you don’t–”
“I’m coming, and that’s final.”
Malachi stared at me for a second longer before nodding. “Okay,” he said. “But if you’re uncomfortable for even a second, we’re leaving. I have a private dining room for a reason, you know.”
I didn’t care. War approached us. I was not going to let my enemies within this castle think they had won.
For Tessa. I would do this for Tessa.
I quickly got dressed. My hair fell in loose waves, and I didn’t even try to maintain the chaos of it. My arms were heavy, much heavier than they were yesterday. Everything was heavy.
“Let me,” Mal said after he saw me struggling to braid it.
He came up behind me, his presence instantly electrifying my body. My eyes were raw, red, and glassy. I didn’t care. Hiding it was pointless. This was how a grieving human looked.
“You know how to braid?” I asked.
Malachi pulled all of my hair behind my back, his fingers brushing the sides of my neck when he did. “How hard can it be?” he whispered.
I smiled. It felt wrong, but I let it happen. “You’re awfully old to be a man who doesn’t know how to braid.”
He struggled to split my hair into three uneven sections. “I am a man of many talents, my dear wife,” he started. His words sent a chill down my spine. “But braiding long, beautiful hair is not one of them. Yet.”
I spent the next few minutes in silence, watching him in the mirror as he worked, with utter focus, on braiding my waist-length locks.
If I hadn’t been in love with him before, I certainly would be now.
“Tessa was beginning to warm up to you, you know,” I said.
Mal looked up in shock, either because of what I said or because he wasn’t expecting me to be talking about her. “Really?”
I nodded. “I think Adonis actually made a good impression too, believe it or not.”
Malachi smiled this time. “That’s one that I’ll believe when I see.”
Our smiles both dropped then, because we would never see that. We would never see Tessa smile again. Would never hear her talk.
Malachi finished my braid and placed both of his hands on my shoulders. They felt no heavier than the weight that already lay there.
I leaned my head back onto his shoulder and closed my eyes.
