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11
AEON
Seeing Katarina fall from my grasp felt like a metaphor for the way my life was going. I was failing my mate, losing my grasp on our situation and I was just one step closer to losing her.
When she slipped out of my grip, my heart stopped. All I could see in my mind was that night we fell from the library, but this was worse. I loved Katarina, she was my everything and even though the curse had brought her back before, what if it didn’t this time?
After I snapped at Katarina that night, I felt awful about it, but my emotions felt all out of sorts. I was usually the sensible one of the group, weighing pros and cons but the voice of reason was Katarina. I was lashing out because I was panicking. Every day we didn’t hear from Ryder, the more I fell into a black hole of helplessness. It had been three days since I had let her go and Zev had saved her.
It had been three days of dodging Lucien, three days of listening to Katarina ask for me, three days muting the bond because I couldn’t stand feeling her worry for me and three fucking days worrying about Zev. He had extensive injuries thatshould have healed by now, but he was healing slower than normal, adding to the never-ending list of things to worry about.
My wolf has thankfully kept his distance as well since I had been waking up in the big pack room alone. The first day it happened, I worried that I was too close to Katarina. If she decided to walk around then I might hurt her, but I didn’t think she would leave Zev’s side.
The floor was cold, making me get up quickly. It was almost too quiet in the castle. The only noise came from Mr. Potter cooking in the kitchen. Usually, I could hear Katarina moving around or the sound of someone walking or even the breathing of someone sleeping.
Something was wrong. I walked out of the room in a hurry, looking around, then running up the stairs to the room to find it empty. Panic clawed at me thinking she was taken while we were wolves and there was nothing we could do about it. Running back down the stairs. It took everything in me not to lose it when I opened the connection. Lucien felt anxious, but Katarina felt furious.
Her anger was so palpable that I felt like it was my own.
“They are in the dungeon.” Mr. Potter called out to me. “Did you just wake? It seems a little late for you.”
Looking at the clock, it was almost three. It seemed I had woken later. I clenched my jaw wondering why the hell they took her down there and why would they agree to it.
“They are trying to get the last man to talk.” He offered the information I had just questioned about.
I had been avoiding everyone, but especially Mr. Potter. That man could read me like an open book, and I wasn’t ready to be ripped apart by the way I had acted. So, without saying anything, I walked away in hopes he would let me. I was wrong.
“Your anger is not helping and all you’re doing is adding unneeded stress onto your mate and your packmates.” Heshouted at me. “Instead of handling this together, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. You’re making sure she doesn’t survive.”
“Excuse me?” I snarled, turning around to glare at him.
“You heard me,” he snapped, challenging me.
“You don’t know what it feels like to watch time go by and there is nothing you can do to save your mate.” My anger made my voice sound threatening. “I just fucking got her.”
“Then fight to keep her,” he said with anger. “At least you have a chance to fight to keep your mate. Some of us didn’t get that chance.”
His words had their desired effect. Mr. Potter’s mate had died and there was nothing he could do about it. I didn’t want to be Mr. Potter. I couldn’t be Mr. Potter and for just a tiny moment, I regretted mating with her.
“There’s nothing…” My voice broke as the need to let all these emotions out surfaced. I stared at the ceiling trying to reign in these feelings, but all I wanted to do was yell, scream and ask the goddess why she would put her in my life if only to take her away.
“Have faith.” Mr. Potter laid a hand on me, igniting anger in me again.
“Have faith in what? That life is going to take everything away again?!” I roared, stepping back, realizing why Zev was angry for so long. It was easier to be angry instead of feeling helpless, lonely, like the world was going to fall apart. “I’ve watched my family die. I’ve watched you suffer along with my best friends, and now I have to watch the woman that owns my heart and soul get taken away from me!”
A small noise to my left caught my attention, causing me to growl at the intruder. Lucien, Zev and Katarina stood in the hallway, looking at me with varying degrees of pity and sadness.
“Babe,” Katarina said, walking to me.
The need to find comfort within her arms was all I wanted but… I couldn’t deal with being placated.
“No.” I stepped back even though it pained me to see the look of rejection on her face. “I can’t…”
Glancing at Lucien, I saw nothing but disappointment, but Zev’s expression held nothing but understanding. He nodded at me giving me the reassurance that I needed to take time to figure shit out on my own. Taking one last look at my stunning mate, I walked away with a heavy heart and dread in my stomach.
“Tell me what you fucking know,”I snarled at the man in the chair punching him in the face.
“I told you, I don’t know anything.” He coughed up blood.
