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I can hear you thinking.Lucien said in my head.
I’m fine,I said.Just worried.
I know, I wish you didn’t have to go through this.
His voice was full of sorrow, and I hated it. It made me want to scream, throw things and kick the ever-loving shit out of Thane for tricking Vivienne.
I wish we didn’t have to live through this. I love you. Today, tomorrow and in the afterlife.
I’ll always love you. For eternity.
His love flowed through me, enveloping me in warmth and safety I never wanted to leave. I hope I never had to.
I finishedwhat I had to do with the spell early because I had to do something I really didn’t want to do today. It was a weekbefore I had to cast the spell. The circle was brimming with energy, and everything, so far, was going according to plan. Aeon and Lucien were running the perimeter. Aeon had just had a vision, and by the look on his face, it wasn’t a good one.
He smiled at me but the look in his eyes worried me, even though he said it was the same vision he kept seeing. I called bullshit, but at this point, we were all on edge so he needed to deal with it on his own. Lucien took him for a run in the hope to clear his mind. Dealing with visions was a burden that weighed heavily on your shoulders, and a small part of me was grateful I hadn’t seen the future yet.
I had another vision of Vivienne yesterday, but it wasn’t anything new. I saw her start the spell, but the moment I got to that part, it was like I couldn’t hold onto the vision anymore. The moment she realized she had been betrayed haunted my soul. She was used and she knew it too and her heart broke all over again. I could still feel her sadness, but her anger eventually won. Right before the vision ended, I could feel her trying to think of a way to alter the spell.
Ever since I told Zev about the vision, he had been different. I wish it was for the better, but with the looming deadline we had, he couldn’t enjoy the revelation. Zev still thought it was his fault in some weird way, and he needed to stop it.
I followed Zev’s bond to his secret spot in the library. He had been reading a lot lately, but he had also been carving knick-knacks from wood. Ever since I had said I loved the carving of a wolf, he had been working on it and even made me a necklace of the moon. It was beautifully carved, and he had even stained it. I clutched it in my hands, praying to the goddess for the strength I needed to ask Zev for a favor.
I climbed up to the bookshelf, reaching the top and saw Zev leaning against the window looking lost in thought. It almost made me chicken out, thinking he was going to say no to myrequest. Lifting myself over the edge caught his attention and I was grateful for it. It meant I couldn’t back out now.
“Katarina.” He said my name with so much adoration now that it sounded almost reverent.
He got up from his seat, walked over to me to help me over the edge. Zev picked me up like I weighed nothing, and a small part of me loved that they could manhandle me, throw me around and lift me like I weighed nothing more than a kitten.
“Are you ok?” He looked down at me with worry etched on his face.
“Yeah, I just needed to ask for a favor,” I said, walking away from him as butterflies invaded my stomach for what I was about to do. I couldn’t look him in the eye when I asked for my favor.
“Hellcat, what’s wrong?” I heard him take a few steps, but he gave me my space.
I could always count on him being the one who respected my need to be independent or to know what I needed. Lucien and Aeon sometimes smothered me, but not Zev, he let me stretch my wings when I needed to.
“I need…” My voice broke as I tried to keep my heartache out of the bond. I didn’t know what I was doing half of the time, always forgetting to ask one of the guys to teach me.
“Katarina.” He was starting to sound very worried.
“If the spell doesn’t work, I need…”
“It’s going to work.” He quickly interjected.
“If it doesn’t, I want to break the bond,” I said quickly, expecting a quick no.
It was silent for too long. I expected him to shout at me, argue with me but there was nothing and that made me worry more. My heart beat faster as I looked over my shoulder to see him looking at me with a devastated expression that had my lips trembling instantly, feeling like the biggest asshole.
“I can’t leave thinking you will be forever lost to madness, if I can’t break the bond then that gives you time to figure out the spell, and break it in the future,” I said quickly hoping he understood where I was coming from.
He didn’t say anything, the silence was thick between us.
“I just can’t leave you in this world suffering,” I said, feeling guilty for suggesting this. “Lucien has said he will follow me, but you might still have a chance to break this spell with all the notes we have and all of the secrets we have uncovered.”
“Katarina.” Zev’s voice broke before he looked away. “You expect me to go along with you breaking our bond?”
“If it keeps you sane, and gives you a chance to be free from the curse one day, then yes. I need your help,” I said, digging for the conviction I had earlier when I decided I needed to do this. “I need to distract Lucien and Aeon long enough that I can get a barrier spell up, so I can complete the spell without interruption.”
