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The lie out of my mouth tasted like dust and I fucking hated it. Zev and I locked eyes, I felt his discomfort immediately, with a heavy dose of disappointment.
I’m sorry.I said through our connection.It would destroy them.
And what about me?
His face looked so heartbroken that I couldn’t look at him anymore. I was an asshole. Aeon picked me up, wrapped my legs around his torso as we left the room. I hated that I had to glance up at him to see him staring at the floor with his jaw clenched so tight I was afraid he was going to hurt himself. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, this life was bending me over and fucking me raw.
21
AEON
Katarina was usually awake by the time we were released from the curse, but the last few nights she had been asleep when we came to the bedroom. Whatever happened with her and Zev had me worried. She kept saying she was anxious, that it was just nerves getting to her, but I wanted to call it shit or was it bullshit?
It had been a couple of days since she had had a meltdown with Zev, and as much as I would have liked to blame him for it, they had been good together. I almost wanted to say he had been hovering over her, but he looked upset at times. I prayed to the Goddess that whatever this was, it was just stress.
We had three days before Beltane, and we were all on edge. The circle felt powerful. Katarina had planned it to perfection and her spell making was nothing like I had ever seen. I don’t know if it was a Belladonna trait, but her spell weaving was elegant and a force of nature, just like Katarina.
I sneaked into our bedroom to find her still asleep. We could usually get a few hours of cuddle time before she woke up to work on the spell and then do a little bit of reading. I was ready for this whole curse to be behind us, but I also wanted to freezetime forever because as much as I wanted to break the spell, we didn’t know for sure if this was going to work.
Katarina might die in three days and take all of our hearts with her. Just thinking about it made my stomach sour, hating that our future was so unknown. I headed to the bathroom immediately to wash off before I climbed into bed with her. Opening the door, I saw Zev drying his hair.
He looked at me, giving me a nod before he finished drying off. He looked exhausted and like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders again.
“You ok?” I asked, leaning against the door.
“Fine,” he replied.
“Zev, come on what’s going on?” I was exasperated that he wasn’t telling me anything. “We are supposed to share the burden of our troubles, that’s what a pack does.”
He stills at my words.
“This is a burden I must bear on my own, Aeon.” His voice was full of remorse.
“Zev,” I said, walking up to him.
“Don’t, Aeon.” He looked up at me with glassy eyes.
What the hell was going on?
“You don’t have to suffer alone,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder trying to offer comfort.
“I know, but this is my burden to carry, I should have…” His voice broke off.
I could feel his regret. He was afraid to lose his mate that he had just gotten. I didn’t know what was worse, having the bond for months or losing her when you just got her.
“I wasted so much time being angry, hating her for something she didn’t do.” He swallowed. “I could have enjoyed her this entire time. I think that’s why I’m still holding back.”
“Holding back?”
He looked up at me with his worried yellow eyes.
“As much as I want to love her, I… I can’t,” he said with a wavering voice. “If she dies…”
I hated seeing my best friend like this. Our strong Alpha looked like a broken man, even though I thought he was an idiot for not letting himself love her. I knew he was just scared of another woman coming into our lives and destroying everything.
“Come on, I think we need a run, all of us,” I said, leaving the bathroom. “Be outside in ten minutes.”
“What are you guys doing?” Katarina’s sleepy voice sounded so beautiful.
